Bubba liked to frequent the old swimming hole but was never able to attract the girls.

He decided to ask his friend Billy-Bob for advice.

 
“It’s those big baggy swimming trunks that make you look like an old fool. They’re years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Speedos, about two sizes too little, and drop a fist-sized tater down inside them. I’m telling ya man…you’ll have all the babes you want!”

The following weekend, Bubba hits the swimming hole with his spanking new tight Speedos, and his fist-sized potato.
Everybody at the swimming hole was disgusted as he walked by, covering their faces, turning away, laughing, looking sick!

Bubba went back to his buddy Billy-Bob and asked him, “What’s wrong now?” “Lard-Almighty Bubba!” said Billy-Bob, “the tater goes in the front!”

*SOURCE

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$50 Is $50

Morris and his wife Ester went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, ‘Ester, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.
‘Esther always replied, ‘I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars’

One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said,
‘Esther, I’m 85 years old. If I don’t ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.’To this, Esther replied, ‘Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.’

The pilot overheard the couple and said, ‘Folks I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I won’t charge you!

But if you say one word, it’s fifty dollars.’
Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word.

When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said,
‘By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn’t. I’m impressed!’

Morris replied, ‘Well to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Ester fell out, but you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars!‘

*SOURCE

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Well, Bubba’s old lady had been pregnant for some time, and now the time had come. So, he took her to the doctor, and the doctor began to deliver the baby. She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Bubba and said, “Hey, Bubba! You just had you a son!”

This excited Bubba, but just then the doctor spoke up and said, “Hold on, son! We ain’t finished yet!” The doctor then delivered a little girl. He said, “Hey, Bubba! Hey, you got you a daughter!” Bubba got kind of puzzled by this, and then the doctor says, “Hold on, we ain’t finished!” The doctor then delivered another boy. He said, “Bubba, you just had another boy! But don’t worry, ’cause that’s it!”

So, Bubba and his wife went home with the three children. When they got home, they sat down and began talking. Bubba said, “Mama, you remember that night that we ran out of Vaseline and had to use that 3-in-1 Oil?” She said, “Yeah, I do.” Bubba said, “Well, it’s a good thing we didn’t use no WD-40!”

*SOURCE

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