Mental Asylum

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalised. “Well” said the director “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub”. ” Oh I understand” said the visitor.” A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup”. ” No” said the director, “A normal person would pull out the plug,. Do you want the bed near the window?”

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Have a great weekend everyone. I’ll be back in a bit.

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In these day and age, Women are saying that 50 is the new 30. Awesome. Just think of Madonna. She just turned 50 but she looks and acts like she’s 20. Of course not all Women are confident about their age or turning a year older. Present company included. It’s depressing for me, heh. I just love the gifts, hehe. How about Men? Do they feel the same fear or annoyance that they’re turning a year older?

How about if you’re only in your 30’s yet you feel and act like you’re oh I don’t know 80? DETAILS magazine wants to know, Do you have Grandpa Syndrome?

Participate in the survey to find out if you’re ready for the convalescent home or you’re still jiggy with it. Don’t worry, there are only 20 questions.

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I really am a huge fan of the Olympics. I love that adrenaline. I love cheering for the US Team. And last night was one of the most intense cheering I have done thus far. At about 11pm, I was yelling loudly, probably not as loud as when Michael Phelps saw the time at the end of the relay, realizing the US Team just “squashed” the France team and it’s World Record, but loudly nonetheless.

Why this win was so dramatic is because before the relay, the France team made a stupid and an arrogant comment saying, “The American’s?, we’ll squash them“. France has dominated this 4 x 100 M freestyle relay for years and even the TV anchors didn’t think US would beat France.

Well, they did, and even broke the World Record. And Cullen Jones, Jason Lezak, Michael Phelps and Garrett Weber-Gale were all fit and good looking to boot .

France need to learn a tried and true phrase. “It A’int Over ‘Till The Fat Lady Sings“. Oh and maybe a little humility, perhaps, heh.

That makes 2 gold medals for Michael Phelps. 6 more to go!

Watching the US Team probably makes you want to go swim in the pool and practice huh? Maybe in 4 years you’ll be an Olympian too and burning that damn scale .

For more Olympics news, visit b5media’s own Olympic Torch.

(Image : Newscom)

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The Dadsense, after the fold…

I’m on vacation so hang on to your comments. Well the moderation que anyway . Have a great weekend. 

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Being the Best Man to a wedding doesn’t mean just organizing The Bachelor’s party. Your responsibility as a Best Man may not be as complicated, scary, interesting, and a “make my pre-wedding life a happy one or else” responsibility like what’s expected from the Maid Of Honor, it’s still a responsibility, nonetheless.

So what else do you need to do to be the Best Man you can be? GroomGroove.com outlined a list of what’s exactly expected from a Best Man. A list? Oh relax, it’s not a lot.

They missed one important task though. Writing and delivering a good Best Man Speech. But, feel free to check out the list.

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Last New Year’s Eve, one woman stood up at the local tavern and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.

It was embarrassing – The bartender was almost crushed to death

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As I told my husband 2 weeks ago, Men can only be distracted by 3 things (take notes Ladies): Boobs, Food and BEER!!! And I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that. Not at all .

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 Dr. Legato shows how the forces of culture and biology conspire against male mortality. Drawing on the latest research and narrated through the lives of her patients, she delves into problems that both men and women care about– from why the male fetus is at greater risk, to why boys have a hard time adjusting to school, to how elevated levels of the stress hormone cortisol make men more prone to aggression and why they are more likely to die from cardiac arrest or cancer and even depression.

Stepping away from the Health aspects for a minute, there are reasons why Men could die first. Let me count the ways :

• If you’re cheating on your partner, if she doesn’t kill you with her 4 inches heels, she’ll likely kill you with alimony, child support, years of blame for being the reason why she hates Men, hence a lifetime therapy that you’ll probably be paying too. Monetary and emotional blackmail.
• You’re likely to die first if you’ve been divorced too many times. You can’t even handle 1 woman, how the hell do you think you’ll handle 5 ex-wives?
• And if you’re stupid enough to have kids with each woman because you’re too proud (or coward) to get sniffed, that means lots and lots of child support, different days of visitation, your kids hating each other because Daddy spent more time with one child than the other. The ex-wives will step up and before you know it, you’re bald like Dr. Phil.
• If you haven’t accepted that “Yes Dear” works mysterious ways, then you might as well start digging your own grave.
• And if it isn’t obvious enough, SHE KNOWS BEST!! Live and Learn!! =P

All kidding aside, get the book and learn how to avoid dying first, the healthy way. And what do you know, it’s a Woman Doctor who’s trying to save you guys, AGAIN. Imagine that.

(Image : Amazon)

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Image details: Premiere Of Warner Bros. Pictures ‘Fool’s Gold’ – Arrivals served by picapp.com

Congratulations to Matthew McConaughey and girlfriend Camila Alves for their new baby boy. Camila gave birth to a healthy 7 pounds 4 ounces baby boy yesterday.

“Camila and I were side by side the entire time. We are both tired and elated, and are so happy to have created the greatest  miracle in the world — Having a child and making a family. Now comes the greatest adventure — raising one, together.” OK Magazine.

Awwwww! Matthew is such an adventurous guy so I can imagine a fun and adventurous Father and Son quality time in the future. Congrats again Matthew!.

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See, that wasn’t so hard, is it? Now go apply what you’ve just learned .

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Heads up guys. Best of MANswers: Season One’s Top 25 MANswers DVD will be out on July 15th. If you want to know the answer to the Top 25 Questions (you have 25??, hehe) ranging from bar fights, to booze, to girls then mark your calendars. Oh Boy!

(Image : PHE Promo)

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