Which Simpson is Hotter?
July 26, 2007 by Liberty Kontranowski
Filed under Accessories, Actresses, Dresses, Fashion Hit, Fashion Miss
Extreme Makeover Marge
OR
Jezebel Jess
Hmm…let’s see now. There was a day when posing this question would’ve made me howl with laughter–Miss Daisy Dukes would’ve won, hands down. Now, not so much.
Let’s take a looksee at The Snarkstress’ expert assessment here:
THE HAIR:
Jess – Nasty root growth; her ends have more splits than the US Women’s Gymnastics team
Marge – Exquisite highlights; smooth, perfectly bendy, flowing locks
THE ACCESSORIES:
Jess – None, unless you count “the girls”, which most men would argue to be a perfectly acceptable accessory
Marge – Classic pearls in a trendy red hue
THE LOOK:
Jess – Goofy hand-on-hip/cheesy-smile Seventh-grade pose
Marge – Bedroom eyes, workin’ the straw, full-on shot of her rug from the right angle (think it’s blue?)
THE DRESS:
Jess – Slutty, plaid, waaay-too-short number that looks more like a hanky fashioned into a frock a la Home Ec class
Marge – Timeless classic, summery color, perfect length
THE GAMS:
Both Simpson women have planted some nice roots. Not much to gripe about there.
THE RESULT?
You decide the winner by using that snazzy poll thingie on your right. In case you’re wondering, at this point I’m trending toward Marge, but maybe after a nice Tequila Sunrise, I’ll feel differently.
Discuss, my dahlings. I’ll announce the winner soon and may the Hottest Simpson Girl win.
Marge all the way.