Snarkstress » The Snarkstress

Lady Gaga With Sky-High Shoulders

The Snarkstress — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 19:08:24 +0000

My original title when I first glimpsed this photo was “Lady Gaga Tones it Down” because I just saw the black jumpsuit and sunglasses and thought “hey she looks pretty and normal today.” But upon closer inspection I realized that she has giant shoulder pads that go up past her ears!!!

At this point I have decided that Gaga is a pure fashion genius because of her innovative style and artistic imagery in her costumes and music videos. People can hate all they want, but she is a complete pop culture phenomemon at this point and only continues to grow every second. (I already bought The Fame Monster btw!!!)

But…I have to admit that I’m a little disappointed by this outfit. I think she got lazy. Just adding giant shoulder pads to a black tuxedo jacket over a black pantsuit does not intrigue me.

Love you, Gaga, but not in love with this outfit.

Image: Bauer Griffin

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Amanda Peet Needs Fashion Advice

The Snarkstress — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 04:43:36 +0000

I think Amanda Peet has been out of the public eye for a little too long and forgot about the importance of looking beautiful and stylish on the red carpet. She showed up to the Brothers movie premiere in this terrible outfit! She must have heard rumors that faux fur and boyfriend jeans were in style this season and decided to put together a look herself. Unfortunately she totally missed.

The jeans look like ACTUAL boyfriend jeans with the saggy size and tattered holes. There are jeans that come oversized and broken in and they definitely don’t look like this! The jacket has a weird dot pattern that doesn’t actually resemble any real animal and the sleeves are an odd length that just look ill-fitting on her. And the shoes??? Ugh the shoes are the worst. I don’t know anyone who should wear those shoes!

Amanda, please hire a stylist ASAP!!!

Image: Flynet

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Jennifer Garner Gets Cutest Mom Award

The Snarkstress — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 19:48:37 +0000

Okay so everyone is obsessed with all of the super fashionable celebrity mommies like Jessica Alba, Katie Holmes, and Michelle Williams who manage to always look fashionable when out with their little kiddies. I have to admit that I am fairly obsessed with them as well…how can you stay so cute while still worrying about changing diapers and baby food???

But what about the really cute celebrity mommies who look super happy and super real??? My Cutest Mom Award has to go to Jennifer Garner. Look at this woman! She looks incredibly NORMAL…like I really don’t think that I would recognize her on the street except that she would have tons of paparazzi following her around. Her jeans are way too big (and they’re totally NOT skinny!), she has ugly athletic shoes on (such a fashion don’t!), but she has the biggest happy smile on her face!!! Violet Affleck and Jennifer Garner are quite a pair.

Today I decided to be extra nice and just appreciate a happy mom and daughter who don’t happen to be the stylish people in the world.

Image: Fame Pictures

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Jon Gosselin Gets Grosser Everyday

The Snarkstress — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 18:36:35 +0000

Okay so I’ve tried to avoid jumping on the Jon and Kate Plus 8 paparazzi bandwagon, but I have to at least make a comment. I was hoping that Jon Gosselin, the worst dad in America, would just disappear into nothingness as soon as he was kicked off the show, but it seems that he is trying harder everyday to be more famous and less respectable.

I have to admit that when the Jon and Kate drama first exploded I was totally on Team Jon. Doesn’t Kate seem pretty nagging and annoying??? They are both extremely guilty of becoming super Hollywood and fame hungry, but now Jon has just gone completely overboard. This guy is such a loser!!!!

Ugh. Why can’t we just move on from this family and give these poor kids a small chance of finding normalcy at some point in their lives????? Look at this guy! Does he look like a Dad who should be raising 8 kids???

Image: Bauer Griffin

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Kristen Stewart Cleaned Up

The Snarkstress — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:37:18 +0000

While I continue to be underwhelmed by Robert Pattison and his goofy facial expressions, Kristen Stewart is slowly moving up on my list of young stars. When she’s running around in sweats and sneakers she looks like a regular old girl, but I do have to admit that when she cleans up she is impressively gorgeous.

She showed up to the New Moon screening in New York in a short moss green ruffled dress and platform peep toe heels. I can’t say that the color is the best choice for her, but her skin is sooo gorgeous!!! Ladies, pale skin is in so you better start slathering on your sunscreen when you go on vacay this winter! I’m not really feeling the slicked-back ‘do, but the short hair probably doesn’t give her too man options. Am I making excuses for her now? I didn’t even used to like her!!!

Let’s hope she starts to incorporate her good taste in red carpet fashion into her everyday look…

Image: Fame Pictures

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Feast Your Eyes on Robert Pattison

The Snarkstress — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 05:42:31 +0000

Here you go, ladies…currently the hottest man in the world: the much lusted after Robert Pattison!!! Well, unfortunately for all of you die hard Twilight fans out there, I’m going to have to admit that I’m just not feelin’ this guy. He’s supposed to be super dreamy Edward, but somehow he just looks kind of dorky and scruffy. Am I crazy??? Does anyone else totally not get the obsession with Robert Pattison???

Well, even though I’m not a Team Edward girl I do love the Twilight saga so enjoy your pic of Edward at the premiere of the second movie in the series, New Moon.

I think it’s the expression on his face that continues to bug me…I know he’s going for the chill guy look, but it just makes him look goofy.

Image: INF

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Holly Madison Finally Needs a Real Job

The Snarkstress — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 07:50:29 +0000

If these are the kind of gigs that Holly Madison is relying on for income these days, perhaps she just needs to just get a day job like the rest of us. Former Girl’s Next Door Hef-obsessed Playboy bunny Holly Madison performed a little grape stomping routine with some sort of I Love Lucy character to celebrate the launch of Beaujolais Nouveau wine in Las Vegas.

What the heck are they wearing and who decided that Holly Madison would be a great person to represent their brand? And how seriously scary is the red-haired creature next to her??? Yikes! I think she’s just tired of sharing the spotlight with other hot blondes and wanted to finally stand out!

Poor Holly…she should try to get her own show like Kendra and Bridget did. I’ve got an idea! Let’s cast her on The Hills! Perfect!

Image: Flynet

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Leighton Meester Really Wants To Be Sexy

The Snarkstress — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 17:10:52 +0000

I liked it better when I thought Leighton Meester was a real life version of Blair Waldorf. But when she makes raunchy music videos, has rumors of sex tapes, and dresses like a classy stripper when attending events, I just get really disappointed. Why can’t she be more classy in real life?

Leighton aka Blair Waldorf on Gossip Girl made an appearance at the opening of the new American Eagle store in Times Square. She is a beautiful girl, but she went waaay overboard with the attempt at being sexy here. The V-neck down to the belly button with the exposed bra, the super short leather mini, the extreme smoky eyes, and the bright red lipstick are just not a good look.

And let’s not even address the scary look on her face…I’m just going to assume that someone pinched her on the butt because they thought she was working the party.

Image: Bauer Griffin

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I’ve Never Seen Beyonce Like This

The Snarkstress — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 03:06:19 +0000

Am I out of the loop? Did I somehow miss that Beyonce is now BLONDE?? Before now I would have thought that it was nearly impossible for this singer/dancer/actress extraordinaire to ever look anything less than gorgeous…but somehow she had a complete FLOP while out with hubbie Jay-Z at Mahiki in London last night.

In addition to the blonde hair, I also think the combination of the too-small fedora sitting on the top of her head just doesn’t fit her look and the red lipstick NEEDS to go. The makeup, the hair, the outfit…where did my beautiful Beyonce go???

Let’s just pretend this isn’t Beyonce and we’ll give her another chance.

Image: Zuma Press

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Heidi and Spencer Appear Again

The Snarkstress — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 20:43:20 +0000

Oh hello Speidi! I thought that perhaps you had tired of your never-ending search for more and more and more publicity and was hoping that you had just scurried away forever. But what have I found? That Heidi and Spencer have returned to the public eye.

Here they are walking in Times Square after an appearance on The Alexa Chung Show. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to laugh at them again as I have so many times before. Why do they keep doing this to themselves? They look soooo incredibly awkward together that no one is buying that they have anything more than a socialite/publicist relationship. Spencer is just Heidi’s publicist right?

Spencer is sporting his signature scary bug eyes, Jimmy Neutron hairstyle, and fake smile. Heidi just looks scared and uncomfortable as her tiny body is being eaten by a large hairy object. Poor sad reality nitwits.

Image: Fame Pictures

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