Chubby or Not, Cut-offs in Concert?
March 14, 2009 by The Snarkstress
Filed under Singers
There are a lot of nasty things that have been said about Jessica Simpson’s weight, tummy, talen, and well…her generally ditsy behavior. But when you’re trying to make the crossover from half-wit popstar to country music queen, it’s probably still a good idea to find close that fit. And flatters. Regardless of your weight or size.
Here is Jessica, singing her heart out at the Cricket Wireless Amphitheatre just outside of San Diego. It’s not the fact that the shirt is form-fitting and the shorts are tight that is disappointing here. That’s typical for on stage performances. If you compare this look to what Britney Spears is wearing on tour these days, well…Brit’s dressing like a stripper.
Image: Bauer Griffin
But Jessica is dressing like a frumpy, chubby teenager. The shirt looks cheap, the jacket is ugly and the shorts are just a sad, sad choice for anyone who isn’t awkwardly 16 years old and walking to the general store for an ice cream. And that girl wouldn’t be wearing stripper heels (Jess got one part of the erotic dancer ensemble correct), she would be wearing flip flops. Which would make the unfortunate thigh brushing and bunching less of a problem.
Image: Bauer Griffin
But then, there must still be something about Jessica – at least judging from how her guitarist is checking out what’s going on in those cutoffs from the rear.
Jessica owes me a new monitor! That outfit shocked and scared me so much, I spit my water out! I was expecting her *previous* Ugly Cutoffs outfit. THIS is collosally (sp?) bad! JESSICA! GET A STYLIST! Dressing like this does not make you country! Faith Hill or Carrie Underwood or Martina McBride (the list goes on. I know she’s trying to be the second coming of Mizz Dolly, but it’s not happenin’) would not be caught dead on stage or even going out to get the mail dressed like this.
Simpson’s voice sounds better on this album – it is a great improvement over that previous piece of dreck she put out – but her clothing is just getting worse by the day. And I’m really sorry to say this, but I’m going to — is it just me or does she look a little… OK this is embarrassing as I actually am a good Southern girl – “pornish” in the top pic? Jessie! Keep it simple! Less hair, less makeup, less… crap! Sleek and streamlined. You have a pretty face – don’t gunk it up!
I’d better go or I’ll be here all day. I hope that woman gets some assistance.
The shoes! Oh no! There was an ad covering them! Oh no you do not wear stripper shoes with cutoffs. Unless you want to be propositioned in a really icky way.
Ohhh dear…..
God da** leave her alone. You’re pathetic