How To Completely Overwhelm a Small Frame, By: Hayden Panettiere
March 10, 2008 by Liberty Kontranowski
Filed under Actresses, Coats, Fashion Miss, Hayden Panettiere
For those of you itty-bitty dahlings out there who are looking to make your tiny self become swallowed alive by clothing, take notes from Miss Hayden Panettiere. Judging by this pic, Girlfriend knows how to do this remarkably well.
First off, the coat: Make it as long as you possibly can. Buy it in a neutral to render yourself as incognito as possible. Don’t bother getting something that fits well either, just cinch at the waist with a belt and hope for the best. Or something.
Second, see if you can score the biggest bag this side of the equator (or either side, for that matter). Carry it everywhere on your teensy arm. Be sure to really load it up too, so you not only look important, but your miniscule frame becomes even more hidden.
Finally, pull on a black turtleneck to eliminate any prospect of upper-body elongation and stuff your piggies into the rounded-toe shoes that make your legs look as stumpy as possible.
Hey, look at you! You have, indeed, disappeared within your clothing, just like Hayden. Woo!
*As a side note, Hayden may have done one thing right by wriggling into some skinny jeans. Now, maybe doing so made her coat look that much more ill-fitting, I dunno. Maybe she would’ve been better off drowning in some wide-leg trousers? Hard telling. But my guess is that if she ditched the trench and the bag, she probably looked cute underneath with her turtle and skinnies. Maybe.
The Snarkstress
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