Jessica Alba: What Happened to Your Style?!?

Not long ago, Jessica Alba could do no wrong in the Snarkstress Seal of Approval Department. But now, Gah! I have been catching her making disastrous fashion choices again and again as of late. It’s saddening me to the point where even a good buzz doesn’t take the sting away.

I mean really, WTF is this lampshade dress (left photo) all about? I would totally prefer a bare leg here, and if she had to sport hose, at least make them a little more sheer. Dark hose is a killer. Either it’s totally opaque tights, or sheer stockings. Not this dance class circa 1994 shiny shit. Ugh. And the shoes? Again, these would totally work with a bare leg, but with dark, dark, dark all the way down and then this light peep toe with the black jazzercise tights sticking out – I just want to be sick. Naturally, her face is gorgeous, though, so thank Gawd for that at least.

Then, we must address this Jane Fonda-channeling bullshit (right photo). Did we not get enough of this with Hilary Duff a while back? Let me go on record as saying that if you’re not attending a costume party celebrating the 80’s or 90’s, cutoff tights have no place in your wardrobe. They just look unfinished. And, they visually chop your stems down to little stubs, regardless of how high your Choos are.

Now, I can almost dig this dress, especially with the hair, but I hate the tights and shoes. Hate ‘em. And they are so putrid that they ruin the entire ensemble for moi. I am so, so disappointed.

So geez, what am I saying here? Am I saying that it’s time for Jessica Alba to step down from the Chick Who Can Do No Wrong pedestal I’ve put her on? Gawd, I don’t know. This is serious business.

Need. To. Think. Clearly. Must. Have. Drink.

Readers, help me. Do I let these serious fashion infractions slide or de-throne Ms. Alba???