Keira Knightley Takes the Pirate Schtick Too Seriously
December 7, 2007 by Liberty Kontranowski
Filed under Actresses, Dresses, Fashion Miss
Arg! Me Outfit’s Authentic, Matey.
Let me just begin by saying that I loves me some swashbuckling fun as much as the next Snarky Broad. And I also happen to loves me some Keira Knightley to a certain extent, (though I still maintain that her head is far too large for her skeletal body). And I especially love the pairing of piratism and Keira within the cinematic realm. But on the Red Carpet? Gah!
Here’s what I think: Since Pirates 3 just came out on DVD, Keira was surely feeling a little heartsick and wanted to relive those fantastical days. She grabbed the first black dress she could find and spiffed it up with giant white cuffs and a neckline wrought with ruffly, piratey fabric.
At the event, she stepped out of her limo and was promptly tackled to the ground by some C-lister’s on-the-verge-of-broke stylist. Said stylist then gave Keira’s neckline a quick rip, stood her back up and said, “Good Gawd, woman. What are you doing? A zippered dress, giant cuffs and shitty hairstyle are bad enough. Please don’t make matters worse by wearing a ruffled top.” The stylist then broke into sobs, as did Keira, and the two have been closelikethis ever since.
Beautiful story, isn’t it? Arg, I thought so.
Keira, dahling, ditch the pirate duds, will ye? And while you’re at it, stand up a little straighter. And go easy on the bright-ass red lipstick. And fluff your hair. And eat a cheeseburger. And crack a smile. And…
Okay, okay. I’m done.
Nooooo! I love this outfit and hair!!! And it’s not technically her fault her head’s big.
Very funny post, though. I love the explanatory story.
Lola, I too loved this dress, dahling…in 1991.
And yanno, in a way, it kind of is her fault that her head’s too big because if she wasn’t so goldang skinny, she wouldn’t look so disproportionate, n’est pas?
But I digress. The real matter at hand is that you found the post amusing which both makes my day and leads me to believe that I write more poetically when I’m smashed.
Kidding, love.
Or not. ;0