Natalie “Chameleon” Portman
October 7, 2007 by Liberty Kontranowski
Filed under Actresses, Dresses, Fashion Miss
Hello, Nat? Where the Hell Are You?
Hey, dahlings, I have an idea: Let’s end the weekend by playing a fun game. This one’s called “Where’s Natalie?” See, the thing is, my source tells me that this is a photo of Natalie Portman, but all I see is floating brown waves and a coupla eyebrows. The rest seems to be a big, rose-colored blob. Is there a person within? I’m not sure.
I think what’s happening here is that Ms. Portman is taking “Monochromatic” to the next level. Forget dressing in the same color from head to toe, let’s go all out and dress in a color that matches our skin tone so fully that you can’t even tell where the clothing ends and where skin begins. Now that sounds like a helluva fashion trend to me. Then we can all go roaming around as big ‘ol flesh-colored splotches against the colors of the world and nobody would be able to tell who’s who. Maybe just by our hair. Now doesn’t that sound freakin’ cool? Wahoo.
Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I had far too many Mike’s Hards this weekend (Light, of course, since I’m watching my snarky figure) but I think this color choice is wretched on this poor chick. Maybe an accessory of some sort, a necklace, a…I dunno, something would’ve helped. But as is, all I keep thinking about is the chameleon Brother Snarkster had when we were kids that he used to torment me with. Not cool.
Not cool at all.
HEY!
THIS REMINDS ME OF THE GOOD OL’ DAYS OF HANDMADE DRESSES BY MY MOM. NAT NEEDS TO TELL “MOM” TO ADJUST TO THE CURVES. YA KNOW, MY MOM NEVER WANTED ME TO STAND OUT EITHER. HAHAH
HOPE YOU DID PARTY WITH THOSE MIKE’S ON SAT., SNARKSTRESS.
Oh puh-leeze, klassygirl. In Snarkstress’s world, where there’s a party, there’s a way…
P.S. Your mom made your clothes? Gah! Send me some pix. Yanno, just in case there’s a slow day in Hollywood, wink-wink.
It’s not the Mike’s Hard Lemonade. You’re right, the color is all wrong . . . not to mention the shape (whatever it is).