It is painful to see someone so gorgeous, innately stylish and unbelievably successful continue to shrink like this. Darling, a few more calories won’t kill you…but they will fill our your fabulous wardrobe with a few more womanly curves that maybe David has missed, hmmm?

We’re not talking thirty pounds here – just enough to get rid of the scary veins and sharpness in your cheeks…you are a legend, dear – we would like to see you around for quite some time so we can continue to be jealous of your beautiful clothes and ridiculously good looking husband.

Image: Fame Pictures

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Which is too bad, because the way that skirt is hugging her figure, you’d never really be able to acknowledge that Sparks is actually looking quite fit and curvaceous these days. This particular skirt is transforming said curves into unflattering lumps and wrinkles around her thighs…which would make even the skinniest woman look like she’s got a pudgy lower half.

I really have nothing to say to the tube top her poor skirt is paired with – other than it looks like something a teenager headed to an all ages club for virgin strawberry daiquiris would wear.

Hopefully the album is better than this outfit.

Image: Fame Pictures

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Just because the invitation says “Kids” on it, that doesn’t mean you need to dress as though you are once again a youngster from another era. Everything from the gloves to the bluish grey eyeshadow is impossible to bear. If this were a costume party, maybe this would work and almost seem funny. But here, Paula’s style decisions just look unfortunate and grotesquely messy and youthful.

Image: Bauer Griffin

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Image: PR Photos

But here she is – annoying me with her cheap dress, ugly scarf, unattractive headband, and layers of wrist chains. Dreadful.

Let’s see what the whole outfit looks like.

Image: PR Photos

Lord, you are obnoxious. Stop grinning and trying to stuff yourself into the rockstar persona. It’s not working. Just go get a job, Ryan. Put your hands down, walk out of the club, get a good night’s rest and get a real job. These kind of bad fashion (and behaviour) decisions will be a distant memory soon.

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Extra, extra! It’s Fashion Week in New York City and former American Idol finalist Kellie Pickler was on hand for the festivities after having been attacked by a department store makeup counter facialist. What a trooper!

For the girl to step out even after being blushed to death, lipsticked to a bloody pulp and eyelashed from here to tomorrow is quite amazing. She must be one helluva fan of whatever designer she was seeing that day. I mean, for real.

Now, I must say that I totally dig this coat, but beyond that, the girl is a mess. The hair is much too slicked back and the makeup is so damn over the top I worry for those who were photographed with her. Gah!

Fashion Week is all about taking chances and “being seen” and Gawd knows this girl is achieving both of those things…though not in a good way. *shudder*

Pickler, take heed. There will be fashion and makeup mavens at every shoulder rub. Learn from them. Puh-leeze.

Image: Bauer-Griffin

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American Idol is nearing the end. Things are culminating into one giant battle of the Davids. Oh…and Paula Abdul showing her love of purple. Hm.

I am so, so mixed on this, dahlings. First off, a billion props to Paula for rocking out this light and misty purple. Pretty much the only purple on red (or in this case, blue) carpets these days is more jewel-toned, so it’s refreshing to see this sexy pastel-y shade on Paula.

I’ll also give my stamp of approval for the cut of this dress. Now, being a small person, I can attest to the fact that it’s often a struggle for petite chicks to find the right style and cut that won’t make their stems look like hamhocks or their torso seem minuscule. P’s done a great job on this, so hoorah for that.

However…

WTF is up with the black? Come on! You’re going to be all brave and wear this super light amethyst color and then go and put a black cummerbund and rounded-off black shoes with this? Geezus. And don’t even get me started on that whatever the hell that is on her arm.

Dammit, Paula. So. Freaking. Close. But, So. Freaking. Far. Away.

Now, if I had some scissors handy and could brazenly attack her from behind, the black would disappear and be replaced with a fabulous, shiny silver. Silver sandals, delicate silver bracelets, a funky silver ring. Not *bleep*ing black. Oy.

Anyhoo, loves, what do you think about Miss American Idol’s look? You likey just as is, or do you agree with Mama Snarkstress? Weigh in below, and Happy Friday!

Image used with permission from splashnewsonline.com

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Image details: Idol Gives Back 2008 – Show served by picapp.com

Hallelujah dahlings, the day has come! Sex-a-licious Brad Pitt has finally shed his newsboy cap. Woo!

Sure, he’s replaced it with a cap of another type, but yanno, that hair loss thing is bound to happen when you have thirty-seven kids with a slew more on the way. But still, it’s good to see ‘ol Brad looking fly and a bit younger than he’s been.

So dahlings, do you love Brad’s new head cover, or should he shed them all in exchange for the blond highlights and messy ‘do of yore? Discuss…

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Yes loves, I am crazy-impressed that Paula Abdul can cut up an oh-so-slinky dress like this. But there is one thing keeping me from bestowing the uber-coveted Snarkstress Seal of Approval onto her: The fact that she totally reminds me of the Chiquita Banana lady!

Now, sure, Paula’s not wearing a giant fruit hat, but goldamn, her flower is pretty darn close. I just half expect her to roam the aisles at Idol, handing out “the world’s most perfect food”, preaching the virtues of nature’s candy to all who’ll listen. Then, of course, she’ll cackle in glee, then abruptly begin to cry. Yanno, like normal.

Anyhoo, this is an “almost” from our girl Paula. Close, but no dice. It’s like having an otherwise lovely banana be marred with a brown spot. But it’s definitely better than some nights, so whatev. Maybe next time she’ll get it just right. What do you think?

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