Snarkstress » bungalow 8

Mischa Barton Makes A Smart Decision

The Snarkstress — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 16:35:32 +0000

Oh look. It’s Mischa Barton wearing a bowler hat, too much makeup and a goofy half grin.

Wait, haven’t we all seen this movie before?

That’s right, now I recall this is Mischa Barton’s costume du jour for evenings of excessive boozing and debauchery. Got it. There’s no way we can get around being subjected to her googly eyes and disheveled everything.

Image: Bauer Griffin

Hold on…

I don’t quite believe my eyes, but it seems Mischa has either made a good decision in her drunken stupor, or she has a very good friend close by.

Either way, smart move putting some sunglasses on, Honey.

Image: Bauer Griffin

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Mischa Barton Looks Worse For Wear

The Snarkstress — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 21:50:50 +0000

You’ve got to be kidding me, Mischa.

Were you that eager to leave Bungalow 8 that there was no time to stop by the bathroom for a quick makeup check? Are those shoes actually studded?

And did you steal that cheap looking bowler hat from a tricker treater last Halloween?

These are the questions running through my mind while I contemplate how much longer it’s going to take before you (a) clean yourself up and come to grips with the fact that the O.C. was your peak (b) sink even lower, disappearing for a few years then reappearing on a celebrity rehab show.

Either way, this is certainly an entertaining tale of an young Hollywood unraveling to watch.

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Lindsay Lohan At Bungalow 8

The Snarkstress — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 23:24:18 +0000

I don’t even know what can be said about Lindsay Lohan anymore – other than this decline into pathetic misery is rivaling the stupidity that was bald Britney Spears.

Here she is arriving, and quickly leaving Bungalow 8 where ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson was performing. It’s sad enough when you play these games and there aren’t a gaggle of photographers around you. But that Lindsay is acting this childish and mopey about her lost love in front of an audience…come on, girl – move on. She’s just not that into you…

Image: Bauer Griffin

I do like the scarf, even if the girl wearing it makes me cringe for teenagers who might still look up to her. (Please say they’ve all moved on to someone else? Yes? Please?) But the ratty hair extensions and erratic behavior couldn’t save this scarf, let alone any last bit of hope that Lindsay might become a normal functioning member of society any time soon.

Image: Bauer Griffin

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Prance, Pixie Geldof, Prance!

The Snarkstress — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 01:51:18 +0000

Pixie Geldof, I’m not sure if I’m impressed with the shoes you’re wearing or just bewildered by your stupidity. The deciding factor must be that you seem to be unable to walk on your own without the support of two people. That alone likely means your shoes were a bad decision and could have done with a few less inches of height.

Otherwise, your black dress and jacket are fine and not suprisingly you have perfected the pixie haircut (Get it? Pixie? Because your name is Pixie? Oh my, I slay myself…). But if you’re going to try to make a statement with killer heels, do a dry run in front of a mirror at home to see if you can even stand up straight.

Image: INF

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Ciara Channels The 80s And Exposes Her Butt

The Snarkstress — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 16:08:16 +0000

Looking like something right out of Star Trek, Ciara emerged from Bungalow 8 in London all smiles, hair extensions and heavy eyeliner.

While the dress is not my favorite, I can’t really condemn her too much for it. Yes, it looks sloppy, like it doesn’t quite fit on top and the skirt is far too short and the shoes just end up making her otherwise super athletic legs look stumpy and her feet look uncomfortably constrained instead of supported.

But it’s really the back of the dress (or lack thereof) which bothers me.

Image: Splash News

Did your mother not teach you how to be a lady, Ciara? I can understand showing a little skin, but you are giving away the farm and throwing in the tractor to sweeten the deal. Too much, Ciara. Too much. No wonder the front of your dress looks like it doesn’t fit – there’s nothing holding it together in the back.

Have a little class, darling. It’s a nightclub, not a brothel. And we all know you’re hot. You don’t need to prove it to us by overexposing the goods. Really, we know.

Image: Splash News

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