Just when I started to think that Elsa Pataky might be crossing over to the normal side and might actually look presentable on more than just a “once in a while” basis, you show up to amfAR’s Cinema Against Aids benefit looking like a pregnant zebra.
You have the potential to be such a classic pretty woman, Elsa – which makes your decisions to wear strangely unflattering and unusual haute couture all the more odd.
If the long flap of heavy tarp-like fabric was removed, you might have an elegant, snug striped dress fit for a star. But instead we have Elsa, …read more

I hate to get all high school on Eva Green, but my goodness she would not be sitting at the popular table looking like this. It is as if she looked in the mirror, confirmed she has deep set eyes, and found the most impossibly unattractive way to make them look even dark and droopier.
The big poofy hair. The matte skin and pale lips. Eva would be a loner Goth girl, right?
Well…
Apparently Goths just want to have fun, since for some reason Eva has combined her seriously moody makeup with a dress fit for a Bat Mitzvah. Empire waisted with …read more

Did Jana Pallaske fall out of a plane and quickly construct a dress out of her parachute in order to make it to the Inglourious Basterds premiere at the Cannes Film Festival?
On her way down, did she ruthlessly murder a few birds to craft this ugly feather skirt?
If not…then I have no reasonable explanation for why Jana would decide on this dress willingly, without hurdling to the earth and the fear of death in her mind. No, I just can’t imagine someone casually putting on a repurposed goose down pillow for the red carpet. That doesn’t strike me as a …read more

I can’t help but wonder what exactly Daphne Burki is thinking about here. She appears to be so caught up in her thoughts at the “Visage” (”Face”) premiere at the Cannes Film Festival, that she is oblivous to the fact that her dress looks like it was meant for an extremely creepy babydoll. I’m not sure what Mr. Tan Guy is laughing about, but I think it’s fairly safe to say he is in fact not laughing with Daphne.
Just when I thought the dress was as bad is it could get, I took a second look at Daphne’s shoes.
It was …read more

Maybe it is the flat sandals in combination with this dress that is making me loathe how Claudia Schiffer looks so much here. Jumping aboard the Dolce & Gabbana Cocktail party sporting a dress fit for a country western hoedown just makes me shake my head with disappointment.
Now, part of the reason why the whole thing droops and looks so bottom heavy and silly on Claudia is that she is (surprise, surprise) skinny and without hips to fill out this dress in any way. The end result, without a cute pair of heels or curves to balance out the frantic …read more

I didn’t think it could get any worse than the last time a photo of over-eyeshadowed Carine Roitfeld passed across my desk. I really thought that was the point where Carine’s taste for smoky eyelids and hair hanging in her face would be it – the most over the top and strange it could be. Sadly, I was wrong. At least last time Carine still wore an outfit that was classy and respectably chic – not that one should really expect anything less from the editor of French Vogue.
But this little leopard print number for The Dolce & Gabbana party …read more

Here is Penelope Cruz at the photocall for Broken Embraces in Cannes…proving to every single woman out there that it doesn’t take much to look absolutely, positively stunning.
Well, actually what she’s proving is that there is such a thing as star power and most women who might attempt to pull off a nude bandage dress like this one would fall flat, fade in with the background, and be totally, utterly forgettable.
But when you are Penelope Cruz…forgettable isn’t even an option.
I imagine there are probably merely a handful of women in the world who could pull off such a potentially disastrously …read more

What is it with Paris Hilton and the matching everything? I get the impression someone is playing a trick on her and got her to believe that everyone in France insists on only having one main color in each and every outfit.
Here she is with boyfriend Doug Reinhardt arriving at The Pegasus Yacht for an after-party. Lavender everywhere (and a left boob looking like it’s trying to make an escape), which doesn’t seem like the kind of choice Paris would usually make. I certainly don’t think she’s much more than an annoying socialite with too much money and time on …read more

You know, there are a few seasoned actresses in Hollywood that always come to mind for being elegant and sophisticated without trying at all. Kristin Scott Thomas, shown here at the premiere of “Vengeance” at the Cannes Film Festival is one of those actresses.
She is like the anti-celebrity. At least, according to what celebrity means today. How is it that she can upstage the over embellished gowns and updos of all the young celebrities out there with such a simple grace?
Maybe it’s how Kristin carries herself. Or the beautiful earrings that are adding an extra bit of glamour to her …read more

How Phoebe Price came to be anything more than a no-name actress in Hollywood…is beyond me. What is she known for? What exactly has she done to warrant her appearance on the red carpet in Cannes. Well, let me rephrase that…what has she done other than dress up in the most horrendous dresses and hats, seemingly all for the extra attention being a fashion horror show brings.
Phoebe, we already have Kathy Griffith to laugh at. She does the crazy dress wearing redhead thing way better than you do…and she’s actually funny. I’ve never even heard you speak and that’s not …read more