Heya, Britney Spears. Where you headed there? To Prom? I only ask because my snarky self had a prom dress freakily similar to this back in the day, except mine was the proper length (as in, short), not this tea-length nightmare. Gah!
Unfortunately, Brit, my shreddings do not end there. The bag: does not match. Even remotely. The hair: stringy and in need of a good wash (or re-weave, whatever the case may be). And do my eyes deceive me, or is that a watch tan line on your left arm? Oy, girlie.
You know, Britney, the majority of us are …read more

Happy Monday, dahlings!
Well, a little bit of laughter to brighten the start of your week courtesy of Princess Eugenie and Princess Beatrice, seen here attending a wedding over the weekend. Good stuff, eh?
I didn’t know this, but evidently horrific fashion and ridiculous headpieces are staples in the royal wedding attire repertoire. Isn’t that something? Now, what I would die to know is: do these chicks think they look hot? Would some dude at that same wedding be just so completely bitch-slapped by the beauty of these headpieces and dowdy dresses that he would just have to get the girl’s number? …read more

So, here are the Sex and the City ladies, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon, Kim Cattrall, and Sarah Jessica Parker. At first glance, they don’t look too shabby, do they? Well, dahlings, sharpen your eyes. Because…

What. The. Eff????
Oh my Gawd, is she for real? Seriously. She put on that fabulous dress, applied her makeup flawlessly, and then she’s going to go and f*** the whole thing up with that forest re-creation on her melon? Oh, SJP. What in the hell are you smoking, love? Double oy.
Any one of you dahlings venture to guess what kind of point SJP was trying to …read more

Oui, Oui Paris!
Such an innocent little flower, that Paris Hilton. At least she likes to think so. I mean, check out this “Who me?” pose of hers. Whatever. You ain’t foolin’ us, P. Hil. We know all about you and your wiley ways. Right, dahlings?
But…I am so off-point, here. So Paris is putting on her best Miss Priss act. So what? What’s really important is how she looks while doing so, no? So, let’s dissect, shall we?
Now, I will warn you loves: If you’re not a Paris fan, this might be the time to change the channel. Because, though I …read more

Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise and daughter Suri Cruise
A couple new pics of the lovely Katie Holmes (seen, of course, with hubby Tom Cruise and daughter Suri) surfaced o’er the weekend, thereby signaling loud and clear why Katie is winning in the Fashion Icon poll in the right sidebar of this fabulous blog. (Uh, you have voted already, right? If not, dammit, get voting!)
Yanno dahlings, as much as my snarky self loves glitz and flash and funk, I also adore classic elegance to the enth degree. And that is something Mrs. Cruise does so. damn. well. She’s sleek, yet real; glamorous, …read more

Tara Reid
Dahlings, she wasn’t even in the original contest, but I do believe we have a winner in the Battle of the Boob Dress. None other than Ms. Tara Reid.
Clearly, Tara smokes both Jenny Mc Carthy, and particularly Pamela Anderson. Girl is doing The Boob Dress right. Go Tara.
After claims of botched up plastic surgery, it appears as though Tara’s ta-tas have been fixed and fixed well. Of course, The Girls are not the only stars here. The dress itself is absolutely gorgeous. The detail, the train, the color – all utterly and completely fab.
And so thusfore, my dahlings, Tara …read more

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag
Well, dahlings, it appears as though Pretty Boy Spencer Pratt and Beautiful Girl Heidi Montag, are taking things a bit too far in the “How-close-can-we-possibly-look-to-Ken-and-Barbie” department.
I mean, come on.
Since this is Spence’s standby dressed-up look, I’ll excuse everything but his crappy posture. But Heidi? Lawda mercy. Girlfriend’s hair screams “Wedding Day Barbie” and the slip, er, dress, screams “Wedding Day Barbie’s Honeymoon in Nashville goes awry”.
And don’t even get me started on those gawdawful, ugly-ass golden blocks on her feet. Gah!
So, I suppose it’s pretty obvious that I am very much packing up my Snarkstress Seal …read more

Lindsay Lohan
Oy, loves. This is not a good look on Miss Lindsay Lohan. An ill-fitting bubble dress with hideous shoes? Blech.
Yes, I realize I am not a bubble dress fan to begin with. Rarely do I dig anyone in them at all, so seeing LiLo in this disaster takes the cake. Add to it the fact that The Girls are totally saggy and the dress’s bodice appears to be quite loose around the side, and whoo-ee! Someone pluck my poor eyeballs out with tweezers soaked in grapefruit juice. Please. It’s bound to be better than looking at this wretched photo …read more

Leona Lewis
Newsflash, dahlings: The absolutely gorgeous, stunning, fabulous songbird, Leona Lewis, has apparently given up singing in exchange for a herding career. Damn. And I was totally digging her tunes.
Thankfully, she has decided to take herding high-fashion though, as seen here with her stilettos of choice. But let it be known that while I appreciate her effort, I still give her a giant “Nay” in the shoe department. Why? Well, though the shoes are purdy, they totally do not do a thing for her legs. Which is a crying shame.
Anyhoo, the dress is all wrong, too, so aside from her …read more

Pamela Anderson

Jenny Mc Carthy
Ah yes. The Boob Dress. A Hollywood staple, for sure, but some tend to rock this look better than others. Much better.
Take Pamela Anderson and Jenny Mc Carthy, for instance. Both buxom blondes. Both strong forces in H-town. Both sporting The Boob Dress. Jenny’s rocking hers. Pam, not so much.
I think the difference here, dahlings, is that Jenny has chosen to flaunt one part of her person. The Girls are clearly the star of this show. But Jen’s hair, makeup and jewels are all very sophisticated and appropriate. Plus, the skirt of her dress is modest.
Pamela, on …read more