When you are starring in a new film, such as your cute looking rom-com, The Ugly Truth, you would think extra attention and care would go into such matters. One would assume that extra time is necessary at these moments to ensure the dress doesn’t look like a prop from The Wizard Of Oz.

Darling, you seem to try so hard – but once again you just haven’t got it all sorted out quite right. Which makes the final effect wrong. Very very green, sparkly and…wrong.

Image: Bauer Griffin

Post from: Snarkstress

Anywho…I digress.

If I could just focus on your perfect smile and shiny hair, this would be a joyous reunion. But unfortunately you have chosen a dress that looks as though it was designed by a grandmother who has a puffy paint fetish. The stones and coller details…the overly uniform hemline that makes me a bit queasy…it’s all too much.

Maybe you’re feeling a bit rusty about this whole red carpet thing but let’s just make it clear right now that anything resembling puffy paint should be avoided. I do hope from now on we’ll start to see you looking like you’re perfect self once more on such occasions, darling.

Image: Bauer Griffin

Post from: Snarkstress

Possible problem there: no one would recognize you.

Moving on to this particularly ridiculous outfit, considering how much effort usually goes into making you look like a circus sideshow, I’m disappointed to see the purple beehive sloppily resting atop your long blonde hair (another wig?). That combined with the nude leotard makes for quite the picture. It’s not as creative as some of her eariler antics but hey, maybe this is the Lady Gaga version of a normal person’s flip flops and sweatpants.

Image: Fame Pictures

Image: Fame Pictures

Post from: Snarkstress

But today is a new day, Katie…and this is ten steps back from slutty and teetering on full out catastrophe right here. You look like you’re doing the walk of shame after a late night out that ended with red wine on your blouse and blisters on your feet. Which then would explain why your skirt is so billowy while the shirt and shoes couldn’t be more out of place. If indeed you were simply going with what was laying around the couch you crashed on after passing out, well then…by all means walk the walk of shame with your head held high. But if instead this outfit took more than a milisecond of planning…

Well then, I’m beyond just a wee bit concerned.

Image: Bauer Griffin

Post from: Snarkstress

As Paris has slid farther down the woe-begotten reality television path, and Nicky has stepped back more and more from the spotlight, I’ve grown to not mind the less outlandish sister. Sure, there is a bit of humor to be found in the antics of Paris, but the younger sister certainly has the end when it comes to including color in an outfit, instead of letting one color (oh, I don’t know…maybe baby pink?) overpower the outfit.

Image: Fame Pictures

Image: Fame Pictures

Image: Fame Pictures

Post from: Snarkstress

Which is too bad, because the way that skirt is hugging her figure, you’d never really be able to acknowledge that Sparks is actually looking quite fit and curvaceous these days. This particular skirt is transforming said curves into unflattering lumps and wrinkles around her thighs…which would make even the skinniest woman look like she’s got a pudgy lower half.

I really have nothing to say to the tube top her poor skirt is paired with – other than it looks like something a teenager headed to an all ages club for virgin strawberry daiquiris would wear.

Hopefully the album is better than this outfit.

Image: Fame Pictures

Post from: Snarkstress

There are so many patterns and textures going on here that I don’t even know where to begin. Is she trying to look young and playful (butterfly pattern/hemline/shoes) or serious and matronly (hair/jacket/purse). Everything clashes, nothing works and with that we’re left wondering how she didn’t stop to look in the mirror while putting this ensemble together and wonder if there was a better time to stop, or if the whole thing needed to be started again.

We’ll solve that mystery for you, Jessica. You should have started again.

Image: Zuma Press

Image: Zuma Press

Post from: Snarkstress

As for your earrings – great idea, poor execution. Sweetie, those look like a crafting project from the second grade. At least find a pair of earrings with an Africa silhouette that don’t look heavy enough to fall right out of your earlobes at any moment.

Finally, your silver jacket. Brutal, Keri…just brutal. Based on that and the rest of your heinous accessories, I suppose I’ll have to assume you do in fact shop at Wet Seal for a night out on the town. Given that you’re old enough to drink and supposedly have a successful singing career ahead of you, that’s probably the most disappointing part of it all.

Image: Flynet

Image: Flynet

Post from: Snarkstress

No, darling…this was a mistake, right? I suggest turning around and finding a simple summer frock to go with your otherwise cute shoes. I can’t see your purse, though I have a hunch that I probably wouldn’t like it if I could.

No more plaid pants and doily vests, Rosamund.

Image: Bauer Griffin

Post from: Snarkstress

Is this a dramatic interpretation of Huckleberry Finn, right here on the red carpet of the Hugo Boss party at Berlin Fashion Week? Are you going to wow us with your acting chops…even if only just to distract us from this horrible outfit you have on?

I certainly hope so, because this candy colored number is not going to win anyone over, my dear. You can carry off a great deal of quirky eccentricity, but this my friend is way over the line and into ‘when did Adrian Brody start dressing up as a dirty farmer for tips?” territory.

Next time, at the very least, please put a shirt on. Pants that aren’t tapered might also be a nice touch.

Image: Flynet Pictures

Image: Flynet Pictures

Post from: Snarkstress