Jessica Simpson Out in NYC

I know so many of y’all hate on poor Jessica Simpson, but as daffy as she is, I still mostly dig her. And I especially love when she ditches the hideous racing gear and country bumpkin threads in exchange for glamming her bad self out.

Love her or hate her, you must admit the girl’s a stunner here. Looks like she got her hair did and her makeup is nothing short of fab. She’s even got the pouty lip thang going. Add to it the sexy peep-toes, slinky dress and wrap and you’ve got one hot tamale. Mama Snarkstress totally approves. This is a look Jess should stick with, for sure. Agreed?

Image used with permission from splashnewsonline.com

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Another WTF outfit for your weekend, this one served up by Country Honey, Jessica Simpson.

Here’s Jess, belting it out at a race this weekend. Not a fabulous moment for her now, is it?

Um, no.

Now, I’m not one to rip on someone’s weight (all that much) but I think it is highly noticeable when Jess is not spending a zillion hours a day at the gym. The Daisy Dukes days, these are not. Yet she continues to wear them. In biker form.

Barf.

Jess, it might be time to settle on a personal style and stick with it. Between your genre-crossing and your wacky get-ups, I’m just not loving you as much as I once did. Help me love you again, won’t you?

Image used with permission from splashnewsonline.com

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Jessica Simpson on GMA

Gawd bless Jessica Simpson for getting her yee-hawing buns out on the concert circuit (here, performing live on Good Morning America), but holy hell. Who dressed this girl? She looks more like she’s about to slip on some wooden clogs or something, rather than cowboy boots. And the top? Gah! Talk about a horrible fit! I’m all for showing off The Girls you know, but here the cut of this wretched blouse-thingy is just plain wrong.

I’m aghast that someone who is looking to make a name for herself in a whole other genre than what’s she’s already famous for would not put her best foot forward. We all know that those country girls can be hot, hot, hot (right, Carrie?) and it’s not necessary to pull out the ugliest dress in history to be remembered. Nor is it necessary to wear the sheerest makeup around, so it looks like you didn’t even bother. Sheesh.

I’m not nearly a country gal, Jess, but I’m still rootin’ fer ya. But you’ll need to do a little bit better, fashion-wise though, mm-kay? Thanks.

Image used with permission from splashnewsonline.com

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Look at Jessica Simpson, bustin’ out the Daisy Dukes again. She must be longing for those controversial Dukes of Hazzard days, eh? (Does anyone else miss Jess and Nick together, or is it just moi?) Regardless, her stems can pull these short little ditties off, so why the hell not?

The thing I’m concerned about, however, is the gargantuan bag. She carries these around, like, always. Just what is she hiding in there? A dead body? Her ever-present hairstylist/bff Ken Paves? A photo album from the Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica days? Or maybe she’s just using those mega-bags to hide behind? I dunno. But whatever, I am seriously over these mongo things (and have been for ages. Sigh.)

On the plus side, Jess’s hair looks stellar and her makeup is amazingly perfect. I won’t be shy about admitting that some girls just look better all fussed up. Jess is one.

Hmmm. Maybe Ken Paves is in that bag, after all…

Image used with permission from splashnewsonline.com

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Jessica Simpson out in NYC

Here’s our girl, Jessica Simpson, out and about with her attached-at-the-hip hairdresser, Ken Paves, in tow in NYC. Here’s my take on Jess:

I love her hair. It’s full, healthy and fab. Guess there is some benefit to having a hair stylist as your BFF, no?

As for the clothes…um, the dress. Is it ill-fitting? I dunno. Where is her cleavage?!? Gawd knows this girl’s claim to fame is her other-worldly rack, so where the hell is it? It’s non-existent with that dress on.

Then I think I might like the frock’s fabric, but maybe not. Is it a smidge on the order of a Hefty trashbag? Maybe so.

The shoes? Hmmm…Not sure I’m in love with those either.

Oh hell. I can’t make up my mind on anything. You can tell it’s Friday, that’s fer damn sure.

Okay, dahlings. It’s all up to you. What say you about J. Simp’s garb? You likey or does she receive a hearty “Oh hail no!” from you? Leave your comments below. And remember, it’s the freakin’ weekend. Let ‘er rip…

Image used with permission from splashnewsonline

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Kate Hudson: She’s in the running for Snarkstress Fashion Icon…and this is exactly why.

While plenty of stars are busy rocking floor-length gowns and fluffy frou-frou ballerina-esque creations, pretty girl Kate Hudson is busy rocking a look all her own: an itty-bitty, teeny-tiny white cocktail dress.

And I couldn’t be more thrilled.

First off, white is a great color. It’s bold without being brash and it complements nearly every complexion. Second, the dress is tiny, showing Kate’s fabby shape and delicate bone structure. Third, her accessories are divine. Just the right amount of bling, perfect, perfect, perfect shoes, and a totally sweet hairstyle. I’m in lurve.

So, dahlings, what say you? Are you lusting after Kate’s look as much as moi? And does Kate win your vote for the Snarkstress Fashion Icon, or has Hilary, Katie or Reese captured your fashionable heart? Be sure to place your vote in the right sidebar and the winnah will (finally!) be revealed later this week.

*mwah*

Image: Newscom

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It’s been a while since we’ve chatted about Jessica Simpson, dahlings, but when I saw her wearing some starving artist’s painting canvas, I could hardly resist.

Seriously, this either looks like a painting which has been crafted into an ill-fitting tube dress, or the interior fabric of a cruise ship sofa, also crafted into an ill-fitting tube dress. Gah!

All in all, not loving this look, Jess. Beeeeep. Please. Try. Again.

Image: Newscom

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Well glory be, Sex and the City sweetie, Sarah Jessica Parker, was good enough to closet her freak-out gear for a recent trip to the Late Show with David Letterman. Can I get a Thank Gawd for that one?

However, dahlings, you might note that she still didn’t look a whole damn lot better heading into the Late Show studio, pre-interview. I mean, just WTF is she pulling with the one cuff gig? Gah! And the shoes? Double gah! This look belongs in the trash right next to the forestwear.

After the interview, however, SJP’s stock went up, and I really think she looked fantastic. Love the monochromatic business on itty bitty girls, and black’s obviously a great choice to add a little height . I also adore the sexiness of the strapless top peeking out from under the coat. Aside from the swallowed-up-by-her-pants left foot, a big Snarkstress Seal of Approval here.

So dahlings, what have we learned from the photos shown here? We’ve learned that stylists are indeed worth their weight in Prada and that before and after photos are Gawd’s gift to fashion critics.

Life is good!

Happy Friday!

Images: Newscom

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So, here are the Sex and the City ladies, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon, Kim Cattrall, and Sarah Jessica Parker. At first glance, they don’t look too shabby, do they? Well, dahlings, sharpen your eyes. Because…

What. The. Eff????

Oh my Gawd, is she for real? Seriously. She put on that fabulous dress, applied her makeup flawlessly, and then she’s going to go and f*** the whole thing up with that forest re-creation on her melon? Oh, SJP. What in the hell are you smoking, love? Double oy.

Any one of you dahlings venture to guess what kind of point SJP was trying to make here? Anyone? Anyone?

Image used with permission from Newscom

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Oui, Oui Paris!

Such an innocent little flower, that Paris Hilton. At least she likes to think so. I mean, check out this “Who me?” pose of hers. Whatever. You ain’t foolin’ us, P. Hil. We know all about you and your wiley ways. Right, dahlings?

But…I am so off-point, here. So Paris is putting on her best Miss Priss act. So what? What’s really important is how she looks while doing so, no? So, let’s dissect, shall we?

Now, I will warn you loves: If you’re not a Paris fan, this might be the time to change the channel. Because, though I could never, ever be counted as one of her fans, it is my duty to the world to be as fashionably objective as possible.

And so…

I think she looks great here. Aside from her Noah’s Ark-sized feet which she totally could’ve played down with strappy pumps, her overall look is actually quite fab. Her hair is the perfect summer style, her skin is glowing in all the right places (seriously, giant props to her makeup peeps) and her dress is a lovely complement to nearly any occasion. She was headed to Rockefeller Center in this pic, but she could surely wear this to a myriad of places. Hey, come to think about it, so could I.

Damn, methinks I need this dress.

Anyhoo, loves, an overall good day for P, in my snarky opinion. What do you think? Love this look or hate it? Weigh in below…

Image with permission from splashnewsonline.com

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