Strolling through SoHo with new dark hair and a simple black dress, this is a big improvement from the heinous Herbal Essences photoshoot and months of bad clothes and even worse eyeshadow that ensued.

There is no kohl eyeliner here, just a simple swipe of a more subdued hue. Oh sure, the girl still looks tired and a little worn down on life. But that’s really no comparison to being a walking poster child of young Hollywood trainwrecks.

Curvier, well rested and (hopefully) not under the influence. We’re rooting for you Mischa – let’s hope this sober stint sticks.

Image: Splash News

Image: Splash News

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Well done, Sienna – everything from the soft waves to the burgandy lips is polished and perfect for this event. Lets hope we continue to see more of the same, please!

Image: Bauer Griffin

Image: Bauer Griffin

Post from: Snarkstress

So, here are the Sex and the City ladies, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon, Kim Cattrall, and Sarah Jessica Parker. At first glance, they don’t look too shabby, do they? Well, dahlings, sharpen your eyes. Because…

What. The. Eff????

Oh my Gawd, is she for real? Seriously. She put on that fabulous dress, applied her makeup flawlessly, and then she’s going to go and f*** the whole thing up with that forest re-creation on her melon? Oh, SJP. What in the hell are you smoking, love? Double oy.

Any one of you dahlings venture to guess what kind of point SJP was trying to make here? Anyone? Anyone?

Image used with permission from Newscom

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Oui, Oui Paris!

Such an innocent little flower, that Paris Hilton. At least she likes to think so. I mean, check out this “Who me?” pose of hers. Whatever. You ain’t foolin’ us, P. Hil. We know all about you and your wiley ways. Right, dahlings?

But…I am so off-point, here. So Paris is putting on her best Miss Priss act. So what? What’s really important is how she looks while doing so, no? So, let’s dissect, shall we?

Now, I will warn you loves: If you’re not a Paris fan, this might be the time to change the channel. Because, though I could never, ever be counted as one of her fans, it is my duty to the world to be as fashionably objective as possible.

And so…

I think she looks great here. Aside from her Noah’s Ark-sized feet which she totally could’ve played down with strappy pumps, her overall look is actually quite fab. Her hair is the perfect summer style, her skin is glowing in all the right places (seriously, giant props to her makeup peeps) and her dress is a lovely complement to nearly any occasion. She was headed to Rockefeller Center in this pic, but she could surely wear this to a myriad of places. Hey, come to think about it, so could I.

Damn, methinks I need this dress.

Anyhoo, loves, an overall good day for P, in my snarky opinion. What do you think? Love this look or hate it? Weigh in below…

Image with permission from splashnewsonline.com

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Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise and daughter Suri Cruise

A couple new pics of the lovely Katie Holmes (seen, of course, with hubby Tom Cruise and daughter Suri) surfaced o’er the weekend, thereby signaling loud and clear why Katie is winning in the Fashion Icon poll in the right sidebar of this fabulous blog. (Uh, you have voted already, right? If not, dammit, get voting!)

Yanno dahlings, as much as my snarky self loves glitz and flash and funk, I also adore classic elegance to the enth degree. And that is something Mrs. Cruise does so. damn. well. She’s sleek, yet real; glamorous, yet reachable. I’ve completely fallen for Katie’s style (though, in my always-perfect opinion, it would be fabby if she smiled a bit more often, but hey).

And while we’re at it, may I take a moment to mention that Tommy totally looks great, too? Love the messy hair. Very fun for him and waaaay better than the toddler-esque ‘do from a couple months back, no?

So anyhoo, congrats, Katie, on holding on to the top spot of the Snarkstress Fashion Icon poll. I’m going to leave that puppy open for another few days or so, then officially declare a winner. Reese, my love, you have a little catching up to do….

Image used with permission from splashnewsonline.com

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Tara Reid

Dahlings, she wasn’t even in the original contest, but I do believe we have a winner in the Battle of the Boob Dress. None other than Ms. Tara Reid.

Clearly, Tara smokes both Jenny Mc Carthy, and particularly Pamela Anderson. Girl is doing The Boob Dress right. Go Tara.

After claims of botched up plastic surgery, it appears as though Tara’s ta-tas have been fixed and fixed well. Of course, The Girls are not the only stars here. The dress itself is absolutely gorgeous. The detail, the train, the color – all utterly and completely fab.

And so thusfore, my dahlings, Tara officially swoops in to win the Snarkstress Seal of Approval for Boob Dress Done Best. Bravo! We should all take note for the next time an opportunity to wear a Boob Dress presents itself. Like to church tomorrow or something.

What?

Image used with permission from splashnewsonline.com

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Sean ‘P. Diddy’ Combs

So wow, loves. All-around talented guy Sean ‘P. Diddy’ Combs has gone and earned himself a big, fat star on the famed Hollywood Walk of Fame. And while that’s great and all since the man sure as hell has earned it, I think what he really deserves is a star for the Best Damn Dressed.

Now some say Diddy’s all-white fetish is egotistical and obnoxious, but I think it’s spectacular. It’s part of his gig, his schtick if you will. And not only that, but it’s all kinds of hot. Pure white ‘cept for a few select accessories = totally, unequivocally hot. On him. On Tom Cruise? Oh hail no!

Anyhoo, Dids, congrats on your star and for being a star…in the fashion world.

Kiss, kiss, dahling. *mwah*

Image used with permission from splashnewsonline.com

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Brittany Snow

Another request for a celeb closet raid, dahlings. This time, I’m after Brittany Snow’s gorgeous white trench coat.

Look at this thing – it’s fabulous! Now, it’s no secret my snarky self is head-over-heels for the classic black and white combo, but it still has to be a great cut to qualify for my Snarkstress Seal of Approval. Well, this thing has got the cut. It’s proportions are perfect.

I. Must. Have. This. Coat.

And. So. Should. You.

Of course, then we’d all look like clones. But maybe that’s not a bad thing. At least we’d all be stylish clones. That’s more than we can say about some people, eh Lindsay?

Anyhoo, loves, if anyone has people who know Brittany’s people, be a lamb and get a hold of this coat for me, won’t you? I’d use my own peeps, but they’re busy setting up my Hawaiian get-away with Adrian Grenier. You know how it is…

Image used with permission from splashnewsonline.com

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Pamela Anderson

Jenny Mc Carthy

Ah yes. The Boob Dress. A Hollywood staple, for sure, but some tend to rock this look better than others. Much better.

Take Pamela Anderson and Jenny Mc Carthy, for instance. Both buxom blondes. Both strong forces in H-town. Both sporting The Boob Dress. Jenny’s rocking hers. Pam, not so much.

I think the difference here, dahlings, is that Jenny has chosen to flaunt one part of her person. The Girls are clearly the star of this show. But Jen’s hair, makeup and jewels are all very sophisticated and appropriate. Plus, the skirt of her dress is modest.

Pamela, on the other hand, is showing everything off. Her slit’s up-to-there, her hair and makeup are scraggly, her lips are freakish. And pairing crappy black shoes with her white dress cheapens the look even further. Therein lies the difference.

Lesson of the day: To rock The Boob Dress, let the boobs have their moment and keep the rest of your look subdued.

Hear that, Pam?

Image used with permission from splashnewsonline.com

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Dahlings, I can’t believe I just said “da bomb” publicly, but cripe. There’s just no other way I can describe Mariah Carey in this photo.

Sure, I’ve given her some shit about wearing clothing meant for tweens lately, but this is one dress that only a womanly woman could rock. She looks so utterly fantastic here, my snarky self is considering not eating for the next month or so. But that would mean I’d miss out on nacho night, and that just would never do. Not only that, but since I’m all a “role model” and shit, I guess that would be a bad thing for my young readers to hear, right? Or something.

Anyhoo, major, major props and the biggest, most giant Snarkstress Seal of Approval goes out to Miss Mimi. Girl deserves it, for sure.

Image: Used with permission from splashnewsonline.com

Post from: Snarkstress