But this closely cropped mop and grandma outfit is over the top bad, my dear. Are you going to play cards with the girls? Taking your grandson to the park? Catching up on your knitting? Oh no, of course not. You are at a movie premiere in Hollywood for the indie flick Spread.

The shirt has potential (if it weren’t borderline see through and draped over hideous floral pants) but the rest of it has demoted Sharon from hot woman to hot older woman. You see, that is the key differentiator, darling. As soon as you “look good…for your age” what is the use going to all that extra effort anymore?

Image: Sharon Lawrence

Post from: Snarkstress

Well Milla, let’s hope this is a temporary blip on your fashion track record. Continue to be quirky. Take style risks. But do us all a favor and don’t pull something like this out again.

Image: Bauer Griffin

Post from: Snarkstress

But worse than anything is the confused look on Kelly’s face. You would almost think this is the first time that you were stalked by paparazzi around the city. Yes, they will take photos of you and your lame thrifty store ensemble – that actually probably cost a cool couple grand – as well as the awful faded tattoo on your foot. Then they will sell said photos and the rest of us will join in on the mockery and all will be right with the world.

It’s really that simple, Kelly. Now maybe you’ll close your jaw and get on with your life, hmm?

Image: Bauer Griffin

Image: Bauer Griffin

Post from: Snarkstress

Here is Heidi Montag at the Los Angeles Premiere of G.I. Joe: The Rise of The Cobra and I just can’t get over how plastic she looks. It shouldn’t be surprising at this point. Enough time and money has been spent on sculpting her into a slutty looking Barbie doll. But I still hold out a secret hope that Heidi will go back to her pre-Spencer roots (and I do mean roots as in something a little more subdued than platinum blonde, dear) and be normal again.

Image: Bauer Griffin

Well, if the path back to normal includes a pitstop on the cover of Playboy then maybe my dream will come true.

Sadly I think instead this seals the fact that sweet Heidi is gone for ever and this publicity whore and her joker of a husband aren’t going to give up on their 15 minutes of fame anytime soon.

Who does this at a movie premiere???

Image: Bauer Griffin

Post from: Snarkstress

Janice, sweetie – you’re getting older. Deal with it. This level of extreme lengths to be as vain as possible is appalling. And the most appalling bit – worse than the shirt, the fake boobs, the calves – is the bright red sunburned skin.

Someone get this woman a tube of sunscreen and a piece of chocolate cake, please.

Image: Fame Pictures

Image: Fame Pictures

Post from: Snarkstress

But worse than the hair, darling Jess, is the dress. Honey, you have one heck of a chest. I thoroughly commend you for your curvy shape and ample bosom. But this neckline is making you look like one heck of a trampy hillbilly.

Are you trying to hurt Ken Paves’ feelings on his birthday? Do you even realize how unflattering this whole look is?

I hope so, Jess. You’re a free agent now – put on a minidress that actually flatters your figure and come up with a better solution for the greasy mop on your head.

Image: Fame Pictures

Image: Fame Pictures

Post from: Snarkstress

A few months back I commented on another celebrity who chose similar pants but had more curves to work with than wee little Sienna. Though some took my disapproval for Jennifer Hudson’s pants as disapproval for Jennifer Hudson the person (talk about jumping to conclusions, ladies!), these photos of Sienna confirm that it’s the pants that are the issue, not the female figure.

Good. I’m glad we have that all sorted out. Now, let’s concentrate on more important matters like how many different ways we can joke about how bulbous Sienna’s behind looks here…

Image: Bauer Griffin

Image: Bauer Griffin

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Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag

Well, dahlings, it appears as though Pretty Boy Spencer Pratt and Beautiful Girl Heidi Montag, are taking things a bit too far in the “How-close-can-we-possibly-look-to-Ken-and-Barbie” department.

I mean, come on.

Since this is Spence’s standby dressed-up look, I’ll excuse everything but his crappy posture. But Heidi? Lawda mercy. Girlfriend’s hair screams “Wedding Day Barbie” and the slip, er, dress, screams “Wedding Day Barbie’s Honeymoon in Nashville goes awry”.

And don’t even get me started on those gawdawful, ugly-ass golden blocks on her feet. Gah!

So, I suppose it’s pretty obvious that I am very much packing up my Snarkstress Seal of Approval and saving it for when these two decide to look like human humans and not doll-like humans. Yanno?

Wonder if that will ever happen…

Image used with permission from splashnewsonline.com

Post from: Snarkstress

Lindsay Lohan

Oy, loves. This is not a good look on Miss Lindsay Lohan. An ill-fitting bubble dress with hideous shoes? Blech.

Yes, I realize I am not a bubble dress fan to begin with. Rarely do I dig anyone in them at all, so seeing LiLo in this disaster takes the cake. Add to it the fact that The Girls are totally saggy and the dress’s bodice appears to be quite loose around the side, and whoo-ee! Someone pluck my poor eyeballs out with tweezers soaked in grapefruit juice. Please. It’s bound to be better than looking at this wretched photo for any length of time.

Yanno, one would expect so much more out of a notorious shopping diva like Lindsay. Of course, one would also expect said diva to keep her roots up a bit better and to smear on some bleeping makeup before heading out, but I digress.

Anyhoo, dahlings, this look is a giant miss from Mama Snarkstress. How ’bout you all?

Post from: Snarkstress

Leona Lewis

Newsflash, dahlings: The absolutely gorgeous, stunning, fabulous songbird, Leona Lewis, has apparently given up singing in exchange for a herding career. Damn. And I was totally digging her tunes.

Thankfully, she has decided to take herding high-fashion though, as seen here with her stilettos of choice. But let it be known that while I appreciate her effort, I still give her a giant “Nay” in the shoe department. Why? Well, though the shoes are purdy, they totally do not do a thing for her legs. Which is a crying shame.

Anyhoo, the dress is all wrong, too, so aside from her beautiful face and hair, this look is better off left baaa-aaack in the fields somewhere…to be eaten by sheep.

Image used with permission from splashnewsonline.com

Post from: Snarkstress