Here they are walking in Times Square after an appearance on The Alexa Chung Show.  I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to laugh at them again as I have so many times before.  Why do they keep doing this to themselves?  They look soooo incredibly awkward together that no one is buying that they have anything more than a socialite/publicist relationship.  Spencer is just Heidi’s publicist right?

Spencer is sporting his signature scary bug eyes, Jimmy Neutron hairstyle, and fake smile.  Heidi just looks scared and uncomfortable as her tiny body is being eaten by a large hairy object.  Poor sad reality nitwits.

Image: Fame Pictures

Post from: Snarkstress

Yes, on two more separate occasions Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were seen posing with Heidi’s upcoming issue of Playboy. The first picture is of Heidi and Spencer outside of CUT Steakhouse in Beverly Hills after celebrating Pratt’s 26th birthday. The second photo is from the day before when they took Playboy out for some frozen yogurt.

Image: Fame Pictures

But the catch? The really humorous part of all this? When you’re waving a copy of your airbrushed face in front of the paparazzi, it can’t be surprising to find that they subsequently compare the pristine pages created by Playboy’s photo retouchers to actuality…where Heidi has flaws like the rest of us – including a prominent cluster of zitsvisible on her chin.

It may not be justice for being so ridiculously annoying, but it sure is amusing.

Image: Fame Pictures

Post from: Snarkstress

Here is Heidi Montag at the Los Angeles Premiere of G.I. Joe: The Rise of The Cobra and I just can’t get over how plastic she looks. It shouldn’t be surprising at this point. Enough time and money has been spent on sculpting her into a slutty looking Barbie doll. But I still hold out a secret hope that Heidi will go back to her pre-Spencer roots (and I do mean roots as in something a little more subdued than platinum blonde, dear) and be normal again.

Image: Bauer Griffin

Well, if the path back to normal includes a pitstop on the cover of Playboy then maybe my dream will come true.

Sadly I think instead this seals the fact that sweet Heidi is gone for ever and this publicity whore and her joker of a husband aren’t going to give up on their 15 minutes of fame anytime soon.

Who does this at a movie premiere???

Image: Bauer Griffin

Post from: Snarkstress

Either Spencer and Heidi are seriously the biggest idiots in the world or they are actually two insanely brilliant people – because we keep watching. Regardless, it’s endlessly entertaining to see them posing for the camera, giving it all they got in order to tack ona few more brief seconds to their fifteen minutes of fame.

Image: Bauer Griffin

Post from: Snarkstress

First of all, Janice’s shoes look an awful lot like orthopedic loafers. Maybe if her legs weren’t revealing her actual age (sorry honey, no matter how skinny you are or how much plastic surgery you get, age spots and veins give away the truth), the shoes wouldn’t be such a problem, but in this context, she looks like she was up all night working the graveyard shift at the hospital, not like she is/was/thinks she was the World’s First Supermodel.

And now..the Pratts.

You two are so made for each other. I can’t even spend the time being annoyed with your stupid antics anymore because I’m just so grateful that you have paired up and no one else might unwittingly marry either of you. Was blue really the only color available? Are you two always going to match so perfectly? I do hope so, because this is a rather entertaining get up right here. I hope you two stay together and we have fifty more years left of you clinging desperately to you fifteen minutes of fame with more pathetic attempts at recording music, maybe a few tell all books and of course, posed paparazzi encounters such as this.

Image: INF

Post from: Snarkstress

Naturally the first decision is…do you go? But if you are Lauren Conrad, with an MTV army of stylists and resources behind you…you go. You have to go. Not going is like admitting defeat and there is no way anyone would ever want to be defeated by the Montag-Pratt pair of obnoxious nitwits.

Lord, these two are insanely annoying.

Alright, so you’re obviously going. But the decision still needs to be made – what do you wear?

Image: INF

You wear something glamourous, sexy, and feminine without being frilly or overly romantic.

You wear something damn near perfect and pretty without looking like you’re even trying. You wear this gorgeous blue dress, all classic and effortless – just to show off just how fake and plastic your former best friend is.

I may not like you all that much, Lauren, but I admire your style here. Well played. Point for Conrad.

Image: INF

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Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag

Well, dahlings, it appears as though Pretty Boy Spencer Pratt and Beautiful Girl Heidi Montag, are taking things a bit too far in the “How-close-can-we-possibly-look-to-Ken-and-Barbie” department.

I mean, come on.

Since this is Spence’s standby dressed-up look, I’ll excuse everything but his crappy posture. But Heidi? Lawda mercy. Girlfriend’s hair screams “Wedding Day Barbie” and the slip, er, dress, screams “Wedding Day Barbie’s Honeymoon in Nashville goes awry”.

And don’t even get me started on those gawdawful, ugly-ass golden blocks on her feet. Gah!

So, I suppose it’s pretty obvious that I am very much packing up my Snarkstress Seal of Approval and saving it for when these two decide to look like human humans and not doll-like humans. Yanno?

Wonder if that will ever happen…

Image used with permission from splashnewsonline.com

Post from: Snarkstress