But worse than the hair, darling Jess, is the dress. Honey, you have one heck of a chest. I thoroughly commend you for your curvy shape and ample bosom. But this neckline is making you look like one heck of a trampy hillbilly.

Are you trying to hurt Ken Paves’ feelings on his birthday? Do you even realize how unflattering this whole look is?

I hope so, Jess. You’re a free agent now – put on a minidress that actually flatters your figure and come up with a better solution for the greasy mop on your head.

Image: Fame Pictures

Image: Fame Pictures

Post from: Snarkstress

Look at Jessica Simpson, bustin’ out the Daisy Dukes again. She must be longing for those controversial Dukes of Hazzard days, eh? (Does anyone else miss Jess and Nick together, or is it just moi?) Regardless, her stems can pull these short little ditties off, so why the hell not?

The thing I’m concerned about, however, is the gargantuan bag. She carries these around, like, always. Just what is she hiding in there? A dead body? Her ever-present hairstylist/bff Ken Paves? A photo album from the Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica days? Or maybe she’s just using those mega-bags to hide behind? I dunno. But whatever, I am seriously over these mongo things (and have been for ages. Sigh.)

On the plus side, Jess’s hair looks stellar and her makeup is amazingly perfect. I won’t be shy about admitting that some girls just look better all fussed up. Jess is one.

Hmmm. Maybe Ken Paves is in that bag, after all…

Image used with permission from splashnewsonline.com

Post from: Snarkstress

Jessica Simpson out in NYC

Here’s our girl, Jessica Simpson, out and about with her attached-at-the-hip hairdresser, Ken Paves, in tow in NYC. Here’s my take on Jess:

I love her hair. It’s full, healthy and fab. Guess there is some benefit to having a hair stylist as your BFF, no?

As for the clothes…um, the dress. Is it ill-fitting? I dunno. Where is her cleavage?!? Gawd knows this girl’s claim to fame is her other-worldly rack, so where the hell is it? It’s non-existent with that dress on.

Then I think I might like the frock’s fabric, but maybe not. Is it a smidge on the order of a Hefty trashbag? Maybe so.

The shoes? Hmmm…Not sure I’m in love with those either.

Oh hell. I can’t make up my mind on anything. You can tell it’s Friday, that’s fer damn sure.

Okay, dahlings. It’s all up to you. What say you about J. Simp’s garb? You likey or does she receive a hearty “Oh hail no!” from you? Leave your comments below. And remember, it’s the freakin’ weekend. Let ‘er rip…

Image used with permission from splashnewsonline

Post from: Snarkstress