Just WTF is Going on Here?!?
Uhhh…..
Dahlings, what in the hell has happened to this gorgeous supercouple? Seriously, I have not seen a photo of Victoria and David Beckham this hideous in, like, ever. It’s rare to ever see a pic where these two are not looking at the top of their game, but this…this is despicable. I feel like I’m watching some wretched Dick Tracy movie unfold in front of my eyes, only in this version, the heroine’s round mounds are tanned beyond insanity and her face is so droid-like pointy and over-the-top made-up that it’s scaring little children away. …read more

Freaky-Teaky!
Gawd dahlings, I am sooo over this look for Ms. Twinny-Twin. Someone get the girl a brush! A non-bag-like dress! Some eye makeup remover! A smile!
If she’s on her way to some creepfest, cool. If not, my suggestion is to leave the Elvira-in-Training look behind. She’s so young and potentially cute…if only someone could convince Mary-Kate to embrace the freshness that is youth. Gah.
What a fun day it will be when she sits down with a scrapbook of all these hideous photos. I can just hear her now, “Damn! What the f*** was I thinking? I mean, really. What. The. …read more

Spooky, Creepy, Icky
I’ll wait a sec as the collective “Ewwwww” from the audience subsides…
Yeah, still waiting.
I know. Isn’t it almost grotesque?
Okay, are we done now? Let’s see here. Where to begin? Well, we have the exposed rib cage to your left. The punching bag-like girls in the center. The “Where’s-my-goddamn-blush-brush-oh-wait-this-giant-powder-puff-will-have-to-do” pink cheeks. The wrinkly-ass back, which I find really odd since she is pretty damn skinny. What’s not to love here?
Oh, the dress. Yeah, that. Well, assuming this is not part of the Courtney Love Freak Show Halloween Couture line, I’m not sure it’s appropriate for…well, anything. BUT, you gotta …read more

So I’m a day late recapping the Emmys. Sue me. I was over launching this hot new little blog for the Teen set, TeenStyleLounge (grab your Shirley Temple and check it out).
But I promise, my dahlings, this post will more than make up for my tardy coverage. Because here, only for YOU my dear lambies, are the Emmys done Snarkstess style. Check them out and vote for your faves. The award for the winners (er, losers)? A good ‘ol fashioned ribbing from internet users far and wide. What a beautiful gift. So let’s dim the lights, grab a drinkie and …read more

Need a Nail Tech Here, Please!
Okay, dahlings. After a pretty soft and forgiving week last week, The Snarkstress is back with a vengeance. And for some reason, this particular subject continues to give me reason to shred her.
Any idea whose disgusting nails these are? Hint: Her highly-anticipated comeback got a shredding of its own from me yesterday (not to mention the vast majority of H-wooders.)
Oops, looks like she’s done it again. And again. And again.
Now where’s my spiked mocha? Hers looks pretty yummy.

A Shot in the Dark
Whoa there. Is this our little Mandy Moore? My source says it is, but my eyeballs tell me it’s Alyssa Milano circa early Charmed.
So, what’s with this dark new look? Evidently, Ms. Creepypants has some out-of-typecast role coming up and now she’s feeling the need to project this in real life. My suggestion? Stick with the acting, girlie. No need to personify such a vampy look when we all know you’re about 100% Sugar ‘n Spice. In fact, I clearly remember nearly experiencing heart failure when I was subjected to watching you kiss Adrian Grenier on …read more

Shiny, Happy Mischa
The other day, I wore an outfit that would have been perfectly capped off by a handbag that looked exactly like…Mischa’s dress! What in the hell was she thinking when she suited up with this thing on? I am not getting this look, whatsoever. The fabric is a problem, yeah. The cut is all wrong (nothing like killing a slender bod with a sack-like frock) and the color is wretched on this pale dahling. And don’t even get me started on whatever the hell is in her hair.
A word to all the fashion crashers out there: If you’re …read more

Another wonderful week at the Beauty & Style channel, my dahlings. In case you missed it, here were some of the high points from a few of my fabby cohorts:
Sabah at The Latest Luxe gives us One Theory on Global Style. Check it out…The Snarkstress approves.
Or if you’re looking for something tres fun and cas for next weekend, you MUST order the Birthday Tee Mike and Rangga found over at The Daily Tee. Warning: Do not consume liquids of any kind while checking this out. Yeah, it’s that damn funny.
So, yay for you. You’re looking to become a natural beauty …read more

While I anxiously await some photos from the weekend, I’d love to direct you to some of my favorite news and tips from my cohorts here at the Beauty & Style channel. I did this last week and I think it’s kind of fun, no? This way, in case you spend too much of your time over here with moi, you won’t completely miss out on what’s going on elsewhere in the beauty world.
The Snarkstress takes such good care of her dahlings, I know.
Here’s what I found this week:
Over at Hot Mama Daily, Pascalle has been good enough to …read more

A Little Early For Halloween, No?
Mary-Kate, Mary-Kate, Mary-Kate. Haven’t we learned anything yet, my love? Here we have The Bag Lady meets Bohemian meets Halloween Chic. Again. I am so over this for you, honey, so how ’bout you move on now, k? Pretty please.
I know you’re going to throw a hairy eyeball at The Snarkstress, Erin (she’s our resident Mary-Kate and Ashley lovah here at b5), but your gurlz have some basic style lessons to heed. If you have any pull, sign these chicks up, call them a driver and get their tiny asses in the Style 101 classroom, …read more