Newlyweds Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon

Newlyweds Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon hit the streets of New York, blinding everyone within a 10-mile radius with their extravagant bling.

Check this shit out: I haven’t seen so much ice since that horrid mermaid sculpture on my Hawaiian cruise with Adrian Grenier last week. Seriously, a whole lot of mining went into this couple’s bridal jewelry. A whole dern lot.

Anyhoo, this is my Snarkstress Shout Out to this stylish couple since I sadly had to miss the wedding and I’ve yet to give them a proper congrats. So congrats Mr. and Mrs. Cannon. And thanks for doing your part to keep the miners and jewelers of the world in business. Bless your hearts.

*mwah*

Images used with permission from splashnewsonline.com

Post from: Snarkstress

Dahlings, I can’t believe I just said “da bomb” publicly, but cripe. There’s just no other way I can describe Mariah Carey in this photo.

Sure, I’ve given her some shit about wearing clothing meant for tweens lately, but this is one dress that only a womanly woman could rock. She looks so utterly fantastic here, my snarky self is considering not eating for the next month or so. But that would mean I’d miss out on nacho night, and that just would never do. Not only that, but since I’m all a “role model” and shit, I guess that would be a bad thing for my young readers to hear, right? Or something.

Anyhoo, major, major props and the biggest, most giant Snarkstress Seal of Approval goes out to Miss Mimi. Girl deserves it, for sure.

Image: Used with permission from splashnewsonline.com

Post from: Snarkstress

Well dahlings, it looks like I spoke too soon. Yes, Mariah Carey has gotten all lovely and slenderized and what not, and sure I acknowledged that she will always be the queen of tight-ass clothes. But isn’t this taking things a bit too far? Seriously.

How this lovely woman can ever bend over to fetch something is beyond me. These shorts – in a size a six-year-old can wear – just look so, I dunno, constricting.

Now Mimi, I am thrilled for your new bod, I really am. And I am ever-impressed by your gargantuan amounts of self-confidence. But I do believe there are other ways of showing off all your hard work – like with clothes meant for adults.

What say you dahlings? Am I being too harsh with Meems? I mean, she did work her ass off (literally). Should I give her a little leeway, or should she hire herself a new stylist? Discuss…

Image from splashnewsonline.com

Post from: Snarkstress

Image details: Idol Gives Back 2008 – Show served by picapp.com

Well, now. Seems our little tight pants-loving Mariah Carey…still loves tight pants. But, Holy Cuervo! This time around Girlfriend looks awesome in them!

Did you see her on Oprah? Dang! Of course, she named her chef as a “secret weapon” to her ultra-fab weight loss, and I personally would much rather spend my hard-earned cash on margaritas and shoes, but whatever. I guess we can’t have everything, right? Unless your name is Mariah Carey, of course. Or Oprah.

In any case, I am thrilled that the camel-toe days of yore promise to be but a memory for ‘ol Mimi. She looks fab and she should be damn proud of all her accomplishments. I’d totally treat her to a drink anytime.

What do you think, loves?

Post from: Snarkstress