Nick and Mariah attended a Halloween party on Oct 31 in matching angel costumes…and I have to say that Nick looks completely ridiculous!  Mariah is Mariah and there is no surprise there…that’s pretty much what she wears regardless of the occasion.  But Nick used to be such a confident cutie!  Back in his Drumline days I was totally drooling, and now he just seems like a sad little puppy dog who is just along for the ride and still has no idea how he snagged this cougar.

Image: Bauer Griffin

Post from: Snarkstress

And the head-to-toe black ensemble just does nothing for her.  Everything looks like it’s about to pop out and we’re just lucky that there is one teeny tiny little button who is determined to hold everything in…keep going little guy!  You are one thread away from a wardrobe malfunction!  Step it up, Nick Cannon, and give your new wifey some tips on how to stay young and fresh.

Image: INF

Post from: Snarkstress

This dress is absolutely fabulous.

Here is Mariah, cuddled in Nick Cannon’s arms as they prepare to take off on Roberto Cavalli’s yacht in Cannes Harbour for the evening, and even with all of these reasons why I should loathe her stacked up in full view, I can’t get over how pretty and perfectly appropriate her appearance is for the occasion. It’s been a long time sense I’ve had the urge to call Mariah appropriate.

So even though Nick Cannon kind of looks like he’s going to the prom, and Mariah Carey’s sunglasses are a little bit on the obnoxious side…

Image: Splash News

As soon as I see this, I begrudgingly melt a little bit and can’t help but feel like they look genuinely happy. In a world with celebrities going off the deep end all the time, this is a refreshing change of pace.

Image: Splash News

Post from: Snarkstress

Well, leave it to Ms. Mariah Carey to take a perfectly good Halloween costume and slut it right up. But hey, that’s her M.O. and she owns it, so more power to her. Plus, you gotta admit, she looks damn hot!

Yanno, dahlings, bless any woman who has the cajones to appear in public like this (one who is not a paid stripper, that is). That takes some confidence, particularly if there are cupcakes and Doritos to be had at such an event. Mariah, you will never cease to blow my mind, girl. And that’s not an easy feat…

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, DAHLINGS!

Image used with permission from splashnewsonline.com

Post from: Snarkstress

Yanno, dahlings, for the first time in a loooong time, I can’t find a single good thing to say about Mariah Carey’s look. Well, in this instance anyway.

Sure, I could blather on about how happy and fulfilled she looks, but since I have no interest in inducing a ralph session for all of you, I’ll stay away from the hearts and flowers. You’re welcome.

The problem here is that I think we’ve all been predisposed to the mega-flashy Mariah of late, and this sure as hell doesn’t measure up. First off, there’s not nearly as much skin as we’re used to. All I can assume is that she must have some majorly freaky rash to have covered up those stems like she did. I can’t remember the last time she wore a skirt or dress with hosiery. Seriously.

Next, where the flip are her accessories? Good Gawd, she needs a damn necklace or bling on the ‘ol upper body. Sheesh. (Since I just bought some similar, I do dig the nail polish, however.)

Finally, what happened to the power of some fabulous makeup? Give the woman some lips, already. If you’re going to be blah everywhere else, please, please, please put on a decent pair of lips. Gawd.

All in all, I am left halfway asleep here. This just ain’t the Mariah we’s all used to, yanno?

Yanno?

Image used with permission from splashnewsonline.com

Post from: Snarkstress

Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey

I’m slowly warming up to these two as a couple, and pics like this certainly help. They look comfy together, but still exude fashion and sex appeal. Mimi’s stuff is totally shrunken, of course, but she still looks great and they both look totally in love.

What do you dahlings think of this couple? Love ‘em or not?

Image used with permission from splashnewsonline.com

Post from: Snarkstress

Mariah Carey visits MTV’s TRL

In a time where empire-waisted and flowy babydoll styles rule supreme, Mariah Carey says “We Don’t Belong Together” and sticks to her favorite M.O.: pint-sized clothes.

And while it does take a lot of self-restraint not to rip her to shreds for wearing skirt that could fit a 7-year-old, the fact of the matter is, Girl looks hot. And she knows it. And she works hard to look that way, so wtf? Why the hell not? True, she elicits plenty of giggles, and true Nick’s gang of pals probably have naughty dreams about Nick’s Old Lady, but hey. With a smile like the one Mariah’s constantly wearing, clearly she’s happy with herself, so whatev. Happy for her I will be.

Besides, who else would’ve snapped up that clearance skirt at Gymboree if not Mariah? Hm?

Image: Newscom

Post from: Snarkstress

Newlyweds Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon

Newlyweds Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon hit the streets of New York, blinding everyone within a 10-mile radius with their extravagant bling.

Check this shit out: I haven’t seen so much ice since that horrid mermaid sculpture on my Hawaiian cruise with Adrian Grenier last week. Seriously, a whole lot of mining went into this couple’s bridal jewelry. A whole dern lot.

Anyhoo, this is my Snarkstress Shout Out to this stylish couple since I sadly had to miss the wedding and I’ve yet to give them a proper congrats. So congrats Mr. and Mrs. Cannon. And thanks for doing your part to keep the miners and jewelers of the world in business. Bless your hearts.

*mwah*

Images used with permission from splashnewsonline.com

Post from: Snarkstress

Dahlings, I can’t believe I just said “da bomb” publicly, but cripe. There’s just no other way I can describe Mariah Carey in this photo.

Sure, I’ve given her some shit about wearing clothing meant for tweens lately, but this is one dress that only a womanly woman could rock. She looks so utterly fantastic here, my snarky self is considering not eating for the next month or so. But that would mean I’d miss out on nacho night, and that just would never do. Not only that, but since I’m all a “role model” and shit, I guess that would be a bad thing for my young readers to hear, right? Or something.

Anyhoo, major, major props and the biggest, most giant Snarkstress Seal of Approval goes out to Miss Mimi. Girl deserves it, for sure.

Image: Used with permission from splashnewsonline.com

Post from: Snarkstress

Well dahlings, it looks like I spoke too soon. Yes, Mariah Carey has gotten all lovely and slenderized and what not, and sure I acknowledged that she will always be the queen of tight-ass clothes. But isn’t this taking things a bit too far? Seriously.

How this lovely woman can ever bend over to fetch something is beyond me. These shorts – in a size a six-year-old can wear – just look so, I dunno, constricting.

Now Mimi, I am thrilled for your new bod, I really am. And I am ever-impressed by your gargantuan amounts of self-confidence. But I do believe there are other ways of showing off all your hard work – like with clothes meant for adults.

What say you dahlings? Am I being too harsh with Meems? I mean, she did work her ass off (literally). Should I give her a little leeway, or should she hire herself a new stylist? Discuss…

Image from splashnewsonline.com

Post from: Snarkstress