I can’t exactly put my finger on it, but I just really don’t like this look for Charlize on the red carpet for the screening of The Road in Hollywood.  Usually she goes for a classic look and is STUNNING, but somehow the combination of the dark lipstick, nude eyes, and a frazzled attempt at Old Hollywood style glamour waves just are not working.  I also have a huge problem with her sandals…I fully support a tall skinny woman wearing flats, but these are waaaay too casual for her dress.

I think she knows this is not her best look because her facial expression is more silly than confident.  I’ve decided that Charlize should stick with the smoky eye.

Image: Bauer Griffin

Post from: Snarkstress

But my perception of Sandra is wanes when I see images of her looking like she is going to a Halloween party dressed as a groupie for the Jonas Brothers. Honestly, darling – you are a beautiful woman. Why on earth would you leave the house in such an oddly inappropriate dress.

While I understand that your costar in “All About Steve” happens to be younger than you, there is no need to overcompensate with a minidress and fringe boots most twenty-five year olds couldn’t pull off. Next time, maybe a little less rocker chick and a little more fashion chic, alright darling?

Image: Bauer Griffin

Post from: Snarkstress

Unfortunately for Lorielle New, this is not the nineties – it’s 2009 and she’s on red carpet for the Los Angeles premiere of “Shorts”. Between the hat, that ugly necklace, strangely out of place crocodile print purse and this loud print that doesn’t belong anywhere (not in a dress, or top, or shoes, or even little mini clutch wallet for that matter) I’m just surprised her shoes aren’t worse. Those bejeweled babies are the best thing happening right here.

The rest…well…I guess there is a reason we don’t typically see Ms. New on the red carpet, now isn’t there?

Image: Bauer Griffin

Post from: Snarkstress

But this closely cropped mop and grandma outfit is over the top bad, my dear. Are you going to play cards with the girls? Taking your grandson to the park? Catching up on your knitting? Oh no, of course not. You are at a movie premiere in Hollywood for the indie flick Spread.

The shirt has potential (if it weren’t borderline see through and draped over hideous floral pants) but the rest of it has demoted Sharon from hot woman to hot older woman. You see, that is the key differentiator, darling. As soon as you “look good…for your age” what is the use going to all that extra effort anymore?

Image: Sharon Lawrence

Post from: Snarkstress

Here is Heidi Montag at the Los Angeles Premiere of G.I. Joe: The Rise of The Cobra and I just can’t get over how plastic she looks. It shouldn’t be surprising at this point. Enough time and money has been spent on sculpting her into a slutty looking Barbie doll. But I still hold out a secret hope that Heidi will go back to her pre-Spencer roots (and I do mean roots as in something a little more subdued than platinum blonde, dear) and be normal again.

Image: Bauer Griffin

Well, if the path back to normal includes a pitstop on the cover of Playboy then maybe my dream will come true.

Sadly I think instead this seals the fact that sweet Heidi is gone for ever and this publicity whore and her joker of a husband aren’t going to give up on their 15 minutes of fame anytime soon.

Who does this at a movie premiere???

Image: Bauer Griffin

Post from: Snarkstress

But my main concern is how plain she looks, particularly because whatever was started with her hair looks half finished and sloppy at best. Either some gentle waves or sleek and straight would have worked – but the sloppy locks she ended up with here would be just as unbecoming if she had put this little effort into a high school yearbook photo.

With so much right happening here, it’s just disappointing to see something go so wrong in the details.

Image: Bauer Griffin

Post from: Snarkstress

The stylist who told you this was a good decision should be banned for life and sentenced to twenty years of time working at Forever21.

Image: Splash News

Post from: Snarkstress

The pattern is lovely and the skirt is very trendy and flattering.But darling, a skirt with a bit of poof around the hips does not play nice with oversize sleeves. a more tailored top might have worked nicely, but this just winds up looking sloppy. Which is unfortunate.

Then…there is the hair issue.

Image: Bauer Griffin

Sweetie, where was a hairbrush when you needed it? You look like you just rolled out of bed, yawned and shuffled your way over to the red carpet. I don’t mean to put a damper on your little comeback, but the 90s are gone, grunge is over and this is not a successful interpretation of the messy updo.

Image: Bauer Griffin

Post from: Snarkstress

Because if so..well, good job little girl. But, in case there were actual professionals involved in the matter, I have to wonder if they are playing a cruel joke on Elizabeth, because the wild hair combined with the rosy cheeks and bright pink lipstick is a wee bit much if you ask me.

Everything else, well – it’s fine. The dress works, shoes look nice and her little clutch fits in well. But everything from the neck up just baffles me. Especially since I would have expected her to know better by this point. But apparently…she doesn’t.

As I said. I’m completely…utterly…and wholeheartedly...baffled.

Image: Splash News

Post from: Snarkstress

I just can’t understand why someone as talented as you has let things get this far. Clearly, you’re a smart woman. Professional? Absolutely. But what in the name of all things holy has let you leave the house looking all greasy and sloppy like this?

Image: Splash News

Clearly, I can’t let it stand. I just can’t let you degrade your otherwise innately fabulous self by slowly turning into a wrinkled old spinster from Harry Potter. Sorry, darling…that’s the role you look poised for here.

But…that’s not all.

Did you seriously have to take it one step farther with those leggings and shoes? I mean, honestly Toni. If there was a recipe for how to make your legs look as stumpy as possible, these would be key ingredients. It’s like a trainwreck that I don’t want to stare at, but I can’t look away. My lord, you haven’t even painted your toenails, Toni…!

Maybe take a step back, reevaluate and come up with something a little bit more age appropriate with classic lines and more flattering aspects than this. Throw in some blotting papers for good measure and I’m sure you’ll be a million steps ahead the next time you are invited to one of these red carpet events, my dear.

Image: Splash News

Post from: Snarkstress