Yodel-ay-hee-ewwwww!
Why do I suddenly feel like yodeling? Ah, wait. Perhaps it’s this horribly wretched outfit that sexay thang Gisele Bundchen is sporting. WTF is this all about, anyway? Yeah, this was a fashion show, and yes, rarely is anything in a fashion show even remotely wearable in the real world, but damn! I’ve got Mountain Goat Fever here looking at this ensemble.
Gisele, dahling, I know this designer is paying you all kinds of money to drape this over your rockin bod, but perhaps you could head back to Vickie’s and stick to million dollar bras and angel wings? That’s the …read more

My Eyes! My Eyes!
Looks like Paris Hilton wasn’t kidding when she sang that dandy of a single Stars Are Blind (which, ahem, I might have downloaded off of iTunes, cough cough. Must’ve been drunk).
Not sure if her stylist took the day off or if P. Hil was feeling a little feisty or what, but I find it hard to believe that any person gifted with sight would actually venture out into the great, wide paparazzi-laden world wearing something this hideous. I mean, the chick is sporting at least four different patterns here…and we can’t even see her shoes. This …read more

‘Scuse me a sec, dahlings. I know we just leapt into a New Year, but did time somehow go backwards and nobody bothered to tell me? I sure as hell hope so, because that is the only way I could explain away the dastardly beach duds Neil Patrick Harris and his boy lovah, David Burtka, are sporting. Gah!
Seriously, I haven’t seen nonsense like this since the Crockett and Tubbs era. I really can’t stop staring. It’s like when you see a big zit on someone’s face and you know you shouldn’t stare, and it’s pretty much making you physically ill …read more

What Up, Funky-Fresh Chick?
So when I first saw this pic of Miley Cyrus, I was totally inclined to say “Gah!” In fact, I had 100% anticipated ripping her to shreds, as I so love to do (to everyone, of course, not just Miley). I must say that I totally hate this bag. When the day comes that the giant bag is gone, I’ll be celebrating with as many cocktails and burritos as I can stomach. Truly.
OK. Aside from the bag, I actually kind of dig this look on Miley. It’s kind of fresh and the hat makes it a little …read more

Now, Just What is Going on Here?
Look. I’m not one to go head-to-head with InStyle all that often (I said “all that often”, not “never, ever”. Sheesh.) But when I saw that they chose this pic of Jennifer Garner as their Look of the Day, I pretty much shot my Manhattan right through my schnoz, which is not even cool.
So, I have to wonder what the process was there, or what that editor had to be hepped up on when she made this choice. Or he. Actually, maybe it was a “he” since my first bitch about this dress is …read more

A Little Pol(ar) Dancing, Liv?
Is it just me, or is this not the weirdest picture ev-ah, my dahlings? The red backdrop looks all slutty and burlesque-y, but Mr. Aersosmith’s daughter is a mix of bad-girl in a short dress and up-to-there boots, and nerd girl in a pontytail, wrapped in a blankie knitted by grandma. I just don’t get this whole vibe.
Okay, let’s dissect, shall we? Yes, Liv is sporting a gigantic trend: Nordic-wear. Alpine patters, Fair Isle knits, yep, it’s all popular right now. And my snarky ass even likes this trend quite well, to be honest. But, I …read more

Brunette Bombshell (Or Just Plain Bomb)?
So, wow, Paris is at it again, eh? I figured her wig obsession would be coming to a close, that it was just “one of those things”. A phase, of sorts. Welp, perhaps I was wrong. This time she’s channeling sister Nicky – and not succeeding. If there’s one thing about Paris, as dizzy, lightly-talented, and, uh, friendly with the fellas as she is, there was no denying she had great hair. Short and bobby or long and whipped into a headband, her hair always looks (make that looked) fabby. As a blond. I simply …read more

Oh, Baby!
So I’m not sure I would’ve pegged J. Lo as a Private Pregger. I figured she’d be flaunting her bump all over the block. I guess I figured wrong. Instead, she’s taken to hiding out in these tenty-ass dresses, hiding the natural beauty that a pregnant chick has. I find it a shame, really. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t like the in-your-face Mommas-to-Be that run around in midriff-sporting camis, but I’m not buying into this camp-worthy look either. I would’ve expected more from our girl. Gawd knows we’ve all been waiting long enough to share this big …read more

Lemme Light Your Night
Whoa. Little L.C. had me running for The Hills when I caught a load of this freaky frock. It looks like Bad Lampshade Delivery Day at Tuesday Mornings, giant-sized. Gawd! The colors are fun and young (a bit of a twist for her “Who Needs Color?” ass), but the print (is this a print?) and texture (what is the texture?) is killing me.
I swear, if we all banded together and checked in our basements (or those of our, ahem, older loved ones), a whole slew of us would likely find something like this all boxed up…alongside …read more

So I’m a day late recapping the Emmys. Sue me. I was over launching this hot new little blog for the Teen set, TeenStyleLounge (grab your Shirley Temple and check it out).
But I promise, my dahlings, this post will more than make up for my tardy coverage. Because here, only for YOU my dear lambies, are the Emmys done Snarkstess style. Check them out and vote for your faves. The award for the winners (er, losers)? A good ‘ol fashioned ribbing from internet users far and wide. What a beautiful gift. So let’s dim the lights, grab a drinkie and …read more