Snarkstress » red carpet

Amanda Peet Needs Fashion Advice

The Snarkstress — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 04:43:36 +0000

I think Amanda Peet has been out of the public eye for a little too long and forgot about the importance of looking beautiful and stylish on the red carpet. She showed up to the Brothers movie premiere in this terrible outfit! She must have heard rumors that faux fur and boyfriend jeans were in style this season and decided to put together a look herself. Unfortunately she totally missed.

The jeans look like ACTUAL boyfriend jeans with the saggy size and tattered holes. There are jeans that come oversized and broken in and they definitely don’t look like this! The jacket has a weird dot pattern that doesn’t actually resemble any real animal and the sleeves are an odd length that just look ill-fitting on her. And the shoes??? Ugh the shoes are the worst. I don’t know anyone who should wear those shoes!

Amanda, please hire a stylist ASAP!!!

Image: Flynet

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Lady GaGa in a Boring Outfit

The Snarkstress — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 19:32:45 +0000

Wowza! Lady GaGa showed up for the ACE Awards in New York on November 2 at Cipriani’s in a jeans, T-shirt and flip-flops! Nope…not really…I just thought that would be more shocking that what she DID show up in, which was the completely predictable over-the-top Lady GaGa extremism. She was accepting an award for her contribution to the world of fashion, so I’m glad she lived up to her achievement.

Btw…Does anyone know who her stylist is??? I mean, someone seriously needs to be getting credit for these insane ensembles that she appears in. Unless she is a complete fashion genius, there has got to be an entire team of behind-the-scenes folks who come up with these sick ideas…

Covering her face is definitely Lady GaGa’s “thing” so I’m not surprised to see this black lace mask with a bird’s nest wig and tiara. She also loves no pants, so again that’s a little predictable. I haven’t seen her with this white-painted skin before though…definitely original.

Image: Fame Pictures

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Jamie Lee Curtis Resurfaces as a Flower

The Snarkstress — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 15:38:38 +0000

The good news is that this is a costume. The bad news is that I’m not exactly sure what it is. I haven’t seen Jamie Lee Curtis since Lindsay Lohan was still acting and cute back in the re-make of classic trading places movie Freaky Friday…which I LOVED btw and wish that Lindsay could have lived up to her potential from that movie. Oh well.

Anyways, Jamie Lee re-surfaced in Hollywood at the 16th Annual Dream Halloween fundraising event in Los Angeles wearing a nude-colored long-sleeved floorlength slip with ugly fake flowers attached. I’m thinking that maybe she’s supposed to appear as a naked person covered in flowers, but the nude dress is so baggy and not skin-colored that it just looks funny.

Mother nature maybe? Still figuring it out.

Image: Flynet

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Lauren Conrad Looking Plastic

The Snarkstress — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 18:43:34 +0000

Well here is a perfect example of what reality TV can do to a person: The Hills has transformed Lauren Conrad from a natural California beach beauty to a fake plastic mannequin. Here is Lauren at the debut of her LC Lauren Conrad line at Khol’s looking extremely scary.

I think she is getting her red carpet tips from America’s Next Top Model because we’ve all heard Tyra tell the model-wannabes to streeeeetch their necks out to look tall and thin in photographs. But wow, it really just looks awkward and ostrich-like in this picture. The fake eyelashes and heavy eyeliner paired with the extreme slicked ponytail just makes her face look shiny and plastic like a brand new Barbie. The way things are going, I predict only a couple more years before this 23 year old is thinking she needs Botox.

Image: Fame Pictures

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New 90210 Girls are Gorgeous

The Snarkstress — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 16:48:39 +0000

I know that they are terrible actresses, but they are gorgeous and have great style…and doesn’t that seem to matter more these days? Who cares if you can’t act? If you want success in Hollywood, forget about paying for acting classes… it’s really just important to look hot on the red carpet and not say anything that Kanye West might say.

I am loving the gorgeous girls of the new 90210 who have been popping up at every red carpet event lately looking polished and poised. Here they are at the Teen Vogue Young Hollywood Party. Kudos to the 90210 casting staff for picking these beautiful ladies who have not yet turned into mini versions of LiLo. But watch out…I will catch you as soon as you start to slip…

Which girl is your favorite?

Image: Zuma Press

Best Style: I love Jessica Stroup’s outfit! She looks amazing in a silky deep-V one-piece pantsuit and open-toe booties. Insane.

Image: Zuma Press

Best Hair: Wow I would die for those gorgeous flowing locks. Jessica Lowndes is absolutely stunning…and she also happens to be my fave on the show. Go Adrianna!

Image: Zuma Press

Best Socialite: Annalynne McCord and her sisters are hitting every party in Hollywood, but she still manages to look mature, sophisticated, and stylish on the red carpet. Keep this up and you actually have a future ladies!

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Jamie-Lynn and Turtle Cutest Couple Alert

The Snarkstress — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 14:00:37 +0000

If you are an Entourage fan then you will be as happy as I am to see Jamie- Lynn Sigler and the guy who plays Turtle are actually dating in real life! Is it crazy how much art imitates life in this situation? I really had no idea what the actor who plays Turtle’s real name was (it’s Jerry Ferrara in case you were wondering) and had to look it up just now. In Entourage everyone refers to him as “Jamie-Lynn Sigler’s boyfriend” and even though he is recognizably famous from the show, I’m guessing that, like me, most people don’t know his name…so I’m thinking that maybe he really gets that title in real life.

Image: Bauer Griffin

But the good news is that they are super duper cute on the red carpet for the Primetime Emmys! Jamie-Lynn looks stunning in her Donna Karan gold knit halter gown that shows off her beautiful curves and golden skin. The smoky eyes, perfect eyebrows, tousled updo, and sparkly bangles are all super fabulous. And look how cute Turtle…oops, I mean Jerry Ferrari? is with his clean-cut look with glasses and a simple black suit. Super duper cutey.

Oh I love it when my favorite shows transform into reality shows right before my eyes! Jamie-Lynn and Turtle are going on my Cutest Couple and Best Dressed Lists for sure!

Image: Bauer Griffin

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Primetime Emmys: Olivia Wilde

The Snarkstress — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 13:00:34 +0000

I usually love Marchesa, but what is the deal with this dress? The designers took an absolutely gorgeous dress and put it on the beautiful Olivia Wilde… and then for some reason cut a nice big crack through it. I had to use some super zoom action to figure out how this dress if even staying on. I thought it was glued to her skin like Lil’ Kim’s pasties, but it actually has some nude pantyhose filling in the slit and going up around her neck like a nice pantyhose shirt that is attached to the dress.

The shimmery body-hugging lace was really quite gorgeous before they had to open it up so we could see all of this House star’s skin. Is the red carpet really the place to show skin all the way down to your belly button? The crack in the dress looks like an arrow pointing down her body. I’m not a conservative woman, but I do appreciate a certain level of taste. Next time, wear the whole dress and don’t cut out the parts that you don’t like. We can imagine where your belly button is even if we can’t see it.

Sorry Olivia, but you’re also going on my Worst Dressed List.

Image: Bauer Griffin

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Primetime Emmys: Leighton Meester

The Snarkstress — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 07:16:31 +0000

I definitely applaud Leighton Meester for the concept of “go big or go home.” She really goes all out with her fashion choices, so she either looks completely show-stoppingly gorgeous or she looks like a big ole mess. At the 61st Primetime Emmys I’m going to go with big ole mess.

Is this some sort of vampire meets angel ensemble? This tiny little Gossip Girl star is overwhelmed by the massive amounts of bright white fabric that are layered over her and knotted on her shoulders. This Bottega Veneta dress is just not doing Leighton any justice! She seriously has the tiniest waist ever, and in this dress she looks like she gained 20 lbs. The fabric looks frayed at the edges and the white is so bright that it photographs terribly and looks like a big washout.

And I know she was going for a bold statement, but the vampy make-up just overpowers the fresh-faced beauty that we know is hiding underneath. I think she must hate her outfit too, otherwise she wouldn’t have that “I’m so bored and hate you all” look on her face. I’m putting this on the Worst Dressed List.

Image: Bauer Griffin

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Paging The Rest of Whitney Port’s Dress…

The Snarkstress — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 02:35:56 +0000

When exactly is Whitney Port going to learn how to step it up on the red carpet? It seems like every time I turn around the girl is wearing a more heinous minidress than the day before. Each event is worse than the last one…with no sign of improvement what so ever.

In this case, we have the same tired farm girl hairdo (seriously girls, we’re over it) and a dress that would be more appropriate if Whitney skeeved around in seedy bar motels and accepted tips on nightstands. Not only is this dress overly revealing but it’s not particularly flattering either. The way the lines and shades fall in her midsection – I could swear that the word “paunch” might be accurate if I didn’t consider the skinny gams and collarbone you are still sporting, sweetie.

Please – stop styling yourself. Or letting whooever put you into this outfit continue doing so. You are such an adorable girl, Whitney – I just want what’s best for you, that’s all.

Image: Newscom

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Did Sarah Polley Miss The Miniskirt Memo?

The Snarkstress — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 02:15:49 +0000

Did no one think to tell Sarah Polley that the carpet would be the same color red as her dress…and that the premiere of Nobody’s Fools was supposed to be a funky minidress event? No? That message never got sent?

I happen to be a huge Sarah Polley fan (yes, I am occasionally approve of certain things) – but this whole getup is a little too prom night for my taste. Especially given that poor Sarah is sandwiched between two glamazons who are looking about as chic as can be.

You can’t compete with that in a plain ol’ long red dress and silver wedge heels. No matter how hard you try, Sarah, it’s just not going to end well.

The good news is that you are still cute as a button. But let’s get back to the days where you wore funky outfits and were all indie awesome, okay?

Image: Bauer Griffin

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