Oh, Tara Reid. You never cease to amaze me with your spindly figure and overly tan skin. Darling, at this rate you’re going to resemble an old leather shoe by the time you’re 35. Wait, are you 35? I can’t even tell anymore.
Here you are partying it up in St. Tropez with Michael Axtmann – it seems like these kind of photos surface at least once a year, where we all sit back and wonder how nitwits like you afford this traveling lifestyle but can’t seem to find a decent colorist or hair accessory that doesn’t look like it was …read more

Wow, Ashley. Usually you’re so predictable and understated. Not in a bad way, but in a “I rarely get to talk about you because you make the right decisions” kind of way.
But…
The high-waisted leather short-shorts? Really?
These I take slight issue with, Ash. They just seem a bit ambitious and a teensy bit slutty for daytime television. No one’s questioning whether or not your obviously very toned legs can handle the pressure, but why put them under such undo stress if you could instead choose something a little bit more presentable and still look ridiculously hot.
High-waisted short-shorts…I’m still baffled that you …read more

Oh look. It’s Mischa Barton wearing a bowler hat, too much makeup and a goofy half grin.
Wait, haven’t we all seen this movie before?
That’s right, now I recall this is Mischa Barton’s costume du jour for evenings of excessive boozing and debauchery. Got it. There’s no way we can get around being subjected to her googly eyes and disheveled everything.
Hold on…
I don’t quite believe my eyes, but it seems Mischa has either made a good decision in her drunken stupor, or she has a very good friend close by.

Unfortunately, my hunch appears to be right and Britney Spears has not heard my advice. Darling, the people around you, including this Jason Trawick character, aren’t your friends and won’t tell you when your outfit belongs in a trailer park.
But I will.
Innocent trip to Starbucks or not, please find shirts that aren’t this close to being transparent.
I’m disappointed to see more ratty looking hair and cut offs. At least it looks like the pink boots are gone for now. But honey, cameras or not there’s just no excuse for this kind of trashiness. There are busy moms all over …read more

Hopefully last week’s surprise step up in the looks department from Ms. Britney Spears was not a fluke. Or a well played attempt to fool us into thinking that Britney really wants to grow out of her trashy roots and start taking care of her personal appearance…
Because this is a big step back, honey.
I don’t mean to nag you, Brit. But you seem like the kind of girl who could use a little routine and predictability in her life. While we all have days where baby pink boots and short shorts seem like a good idea (okay, I don’t. but …read more