Brooke Hogan is one major Beach Bum

The newest in beach fashion, brought to you by the mini-Hulkstress, Brooke Hogan.

Evidently, Brooke used this tactic in her new reality series to catch the eye of a handsome beach-goer. Lo and behold, it worked. Imagine that.

My advice? If you want a little attention, getting a little cheeky a la Brooke will likely do the trick.

Take that to the beach, my dahlilngs!

Image used with permission from splashnewsonline.com

Post from: Snarkstress

What fun it must be to be Miley Cyrus, huh loves? First, she gets a wax figure made out of her bad self. Then she gets to spend the day on a beach in Malibu with gobs of peeps falling all over her as she films her new Hannah Montana movie. Sigh. Why didn’t my star rise at 15?

In any case, I am admitting to being completely, utterly, to-the-point-of-no-return in love with this sundress. The color is fabulouso and the print, summer-iffic perfect. Plus, it’s one of those great cuts that effectively hides a bad night at Nachos-R-Us, if you know what I’m sayin’. I’d really love to score this cutie to round out my summer ‘drobe. Like, really.

‘Course I’ve never been a big fan of Hannah’s giant blond ‘do, but whatev. It’s her schtick and she makes a helluva lot more coin than moi, so who am I to judge?

What do you think, dahlings? You love this look on Hannah/Miley or what? Leave me a comment and let me know. It’s Friday, speak up!

Image: Newscom

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Celebrating her 23rd birthday in our 50th state (that would be Hawaii, loves) Ashley Tisdale ditches the cow hide in exchange for, well, next to nothing.

And thus, it is only fitting to share this little piece of Americana with you on the Fourth of July, dear readers – The All-American Young Celeb Bod.

Hope your holiday is full of sand and surf as well.

Enjoy!

Image used with permission from splashnewsonline.com

Post from: Snarkstress

Ah, one of the best sights of summer: Hot celebrity bods on the beach.

And while I prefer to spend my time scoping out bods of the male variety, there is no way I could pass up giving props to the fabulous Lisa Rinna. Girlfriend is 40+ and looking fly as can be. I sure hope that when my snarky bad self reaches that ripe old age, I can look even remotely as hot (pfffft! Who am I kidding? Of course I will!)

In any case, in celebration of the Beauty & Style Channel’s ‘Sights and Smells of Summer’ theme (more on that tomorrow), I give to you a standby summer sight: A chick in a bikini.

Enjoy!

For more sights and particularly smells of summer, be sure to visit our July Blog of the Month, The Scented Life.

Image used with permission from splashnewsonline.com

Post from: Snarkstress

Brad Pitt and Pax Jolie-Pitt

First up in the Snarkstress’s Men About Town Monday series is the ever-beautiful Brad Pitt, seen here on a beach in France toting around kid #3 out of 464 (or something like that). I am sooo loving Brad’s casual beachy style: the jeans, the white shirt, the hat that in no way resembles a newsboy. And, of course, his manly scruff most definitely adds to the overall dudeliciousness of him (not to mention the hot daddy “Awwww” factor). Hot cinders!

Brad, looking fabby dahling. Thanks for being our first piece of eye candy this morning (as if you had a choice). Suddenly the day seems just a smidgen brighter…

Image used with permission from splashnewsonline.com

Post from: Snarkstress

Dahlings, what would you do with $50 in free money? Shop for goodies to ramp up your Spring wardrobe, perhaps? Mm-hm, I thought so.

Well, if you head on over to Teen Style Lounge, you can enter to win a $50 e-gift card to score some of the hottest casual looks around. You only have a week to enter, though, so no dilly-dallying. Get over there and win!

Bon chance, dahlings! *mwah*

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Kim Cattrall in Mushroom Top Ready-to-Wear

Now, did Kim Cattrall not head my snarky advice from the other day, or what? I can’t decide what’s worse – her catastrophic look in the other photo, or the fact that she’s wearing some poor garden gnome’s mushroom house on top of her head in this one.

Seriously, does this chick have any sort of a clue when it comes to beachwear?

Damn!

I assume this is supposed to be a hat, and I’m all for covering up on the beach if you’re all into saving your skin and what not, but really. Is a hat this fricking large really necessary? How she can even stay erect with this thing on, I’ll never know. And what did she bring it home from the store in – an economy-sized trash bag?

I wish we could see the top of this. I wonder if it’s pointy or squared-off or what. Regardless, this thing is freaking me out and it needs to disappear fast…right along with the giant handbag craze!

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Not Sexy Nor City

Well now here’s beach attire you don’t see every day – thank Gawd! Kim Cattrall is looking about as far from “Sexy” and “City” as one chick can get. The problem here is that I cannot decide which I hate most:

• The super high-waisted Granny briefs
• The saggy Girls
• The long-ass white coat
• The Uggs
• The turquoise shades

The worst part? Evidently this pic was taken while Kim was doing a photo shoot, which leads me to wonder what in the hell kind of publication would think this is an attractive suit on this woman? Gah! I’m all for older chicks rocking out a two-piece, but she has to do it well, yanno? Otherwise, it’s just flat-out embarrassing to everyone.

So let’s pray this photo spread doesn’t show up to assault our eyes any further, okay? Okay. Now, back to Happy Hour (where you may choose to throw a dash of lemon juice in your eyes to cleanse them from this image).

Cheers!

Post from: Snarkstress

‘Scuse me a sec, dahlings. I know we just leapt into a New Year, but did time somehow go backwards and nobody bothered to tell me? I sure as hell hope so, because that is the only way I could explain away the dastardly beach duds Neil Patrick Harris and his boy lovah, David Burtka, are sporting. Gah!

Seriously, I haven’t seen nonsense like this since the Crockett and Tubbs era. I really can’t stop staring. It’s like when you see a big zit on someone’s face and you know you shouldn’t stare, and it’s pretty much making you physically ill to stare, but you continue to do it anyway. Yeah, this is like that.

And I thought gay guys knew better. Sigh.

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Bag the Bag, P. Hil

While vacationing in Hawaii over Christmas, Paris Hilton did what any decent red-blooded celebutante would do: hit the beach. But, unlike most people, P. Hil completed her bathing ensemble with designer accessories that probably cost as much as a normal person’s entire vacation.

So, let’s take a look at said accessories: I love the bag, I really do, but does it really have any place at the beach? I mean, it’s a beach for Got’s sake. What could you possibly need there that a mesh beach bag wouldn’t be sufficient enough? Furthermore, if you can’t make it through a trip to the sand and surf without packing your iPhone/BlackBerry/Gadget du Jour, then what you really need is a course in Relaxation 101. Seriously.

I will give her props for covering up in the sun, however, (although my snarky ass would much prefer to fry rather than go home without a tan), and the hat, if you’re into floppy beach toppers, is pretty cute. Not sure which of her freakishly small dog-rats got a hold of her bathing suit and ripped it to shreds, but whatever. It’s a weird suit, but I would expect no less from her.

I guess as a whole I’m getting a whole “Lady Who Lunches” vibe from this look…and I seriously, seriously don’t approve.

Now, could someone hand me my Pina Colada, pretty please? It’s right there, next to my Crisco, er, sunscreen. Thanks.

Post from: Snarkstress