And somehow I find it disconcerting that Katy Perry has been popping up at every fashion show across the globe lately, but until I see the headline listing her name I am actually unable to recognize her.  Is she some sort of celebrity chameleon?  What does her face really look like???

Image: Bauer Griffin

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Yes, I look at this photo and think, “You know, Elsa and I could be great friends. We clearly have the same style, I would totally let her borrow my hairspray and I’ll bet she would let me in on the secret that keeps those cheeks so rosy perfect.”

Image: Newscom

Just as I was thinking about how we would hang out at coffee shops on the weekend and flip through fashion magazines taking quizzes about what guy we’re supposed to be with…or which Sex and The City character we are most like…I found out what Elsa had decided to put on her ankles.

Image: Newscom

Let’s not even get me started on your outfit. The sparkle ankle warmers are the most unexpected wrong choice. Like you’re doing this just to hurt the women who wish they had such perfect skin and luminous eyes by making the most ridiculous choices that don’t even have a name. What are you a horse? Are those bell boots? Are you going for a run around the track? Why, Elsa – why?

Image: Newscom

You have some explaining to do. To all of us. With looks like this, you are disappointing women who have to wake up to normal people imperfections all around the world.

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Image: Bauer Griffin

I’m not sure if I’m more offended by Pammy’s nipple or this soccer bondage ballerina ensemble…but both are causing me to gag a little and certainly don’t endear Ms. Anderson to my stoney heart. If her boob took attention away from the magic tricks hanging from her shoulders and hips, well then…so be it. But there has to be a better way to get people to stop asking “What ever happened to…” about you, Pam.

Image: Bauer Griffin

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It’s not completely clear to me why my fashion fears are centered so fully on shoulder pads, but the thought of women climbing the corporate ladder one shoulder pad and tapered pant leg at a time…terrifies me. And yet somehow the worst possible incarnation of shoulder pads made an appearance during the Dolce and Gabbana Fall 2009 Collection Fashion Show.

Legandary supermodels, Eva Herzigov, accompanied by a very dour looking Claudia Schiffer,  will now be the emcee’ing my high fashion nightmares.  A combination of 80s power suit, Mad Men and Minnie Mouse…I’m floored…and at the same time, simply bored with the whole thing.

Image: Bauer Griffin

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After spending a couple of years on top, it appears Rachel decided to surprise us all at the Marc Jacobs’ Fall Collection by intentionally (or not) rising to the top of fashion don’ts. As much as I appreciate her departure from unrealistically long hair extensions (turning instead to admittedly fabulous blonde curls), and her skin no longer looks like it’s been rubbed with sandpaper…the combination of loud yellow labels with sparkly stripes, pleats and shoes I can’t even begin to understand…is too much.

Image: Newscom

Yes, while Zoe is no longer the celebrity stylist dreams are made of, she is dominating a new category and teaching her bright young fashion pupils how not to dress by offering real life outfits of horror. Maybe in another life of a teenage school girl those shoes would have been passable…but it’s too much and at the same time soo not enough here.

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However…

Something very, very wrong happened here. Somehow on her way to a Fashion Week show her dress became mangled and she was left with no choice but to create a dress out of a Hefty bag. Pity, huh?

Thankfully, she accessorized her, um, dress, but unfortunately, the shoes were another miss. Just what in the hell is the fascination with these things? Seriously, I need to know. Hoof covers like these turn up way too often, and they’re still ugly as ever. Blech.

Overall, I am crazy disappointed in this look. Kate has looked so much better so many times. Why the eff up now, I wonder? At Fashion Week no less.

Whatever. Let’s just all pray she gets some better ideas from one of the shows. Oy, let’s pray…

Image: Bauer Griffin

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Extra, extra! It’s Fashion Week in New York City and former American Idol finalist Kellie Pickler was on hand for the festivities after having been attacked by a department store makeup counter facialist. What a trooper!

For the girl to step out even after being blushed to death, lipsticked to a bloody pulp and eyelashed from here to tomorrow is quite amazing. She must be one helluva fan of whatever designer she was seeing that day. I mean, for real.

Now, I must say that I totally dig this coat, but beyond that, the girl is a mess. The hair is much too slicked back and the makeup is so damn over the top I worry for those who were photographed with her. Gah!

Fashion Week is all about taking chances and “being seen” and Gawd knows this girl is achieving both of those things…though not in a good way. *shudder*

Pickler, take heed. There will be fashion and makeup mavens at every shoulder rub. Learn from them. Puh-leeze.

Image: Bauer-Griffin

Post from: Snarkstress

This Saturday, November 15th, was the 2008 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. The show was held at the newly renovated Fontainebleau Miami Beach. You have no idea how bad I wish I could have been there! I love lingerie and this looked like one fun show. 

The highlight of the evening was a $5 million dollar bra worn by supermodel Adriana Lima (pictured above). Yep, 5 million dollars! I read somewhere that everyone but the Victoria’s Secret supermodels know that we are in a recession. lol

Now, obviously this was just for the show and the shock and awe affect I guess. I imagine they’ll auction it off and someone who has nothing better to do with $5 mill. will buy it. Me personally, I’ll stick to the $50 and under bras.

But, putting aside all practicality…isn’t this bra awesome! If I could just wear it for like 2 minutes that would be amazing. I know, I know dream on.

Out of curiosity, what is the most you have ever paid for a bra?

Image Credit: Newscom

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Model Kristy Hinze

Australian model (and total Faith Hill look-alike) Kristy Hinze, killed Mercedes Benz Fashion Week in this super hot white dress and derriere-kickin’ shoes. She f***ing killed it, people!

Now, I know she’s a supermodel and what not, but we could all take a few pointers from this delicious-looking babe. She’s perfect from head to toe. Shit, she’s almost as hot as moi. Almost.

So, what do you dahlings think of this goddess, who, incidentally, is slated to be the host of the Australian Project Runway? Love her or hate her? Weigh in…

Image used with permission from splashnewsonline.com

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The snow is still piled up at my Snarky Cove, yet we’re already getting a look at what we might be rocking come Fall via Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week. Gawd!

Now, aside from my insane desire to be sipping my cocktails pool side and enjoying the Spring 2008 fashions, it is crazy fun to see what’s on the horizon for our fabby selves. Is this combo going to be it?

It goes against all conventional wisdom. It’s unusual and unique. It’s so contradictory, it’s almost alluring.

Do you like this look? This look of pairing such a dark bottom half with a light upper half?

Weigh in, dahlings. Let’s put our gorgeous heads together and predict what might be sashaying down the avenues of Everywhere, USA come autumn ‘08.

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