Image: Bauer Griffin

Heidi Klum used to be so classy, but somewhere along the line, she lost it. (Maybe when she wore this to the Oscars?)  I’m unsure what I hate most about this ensemble–the white lace collar or the peep-toe ankle boots. I’m sure she doesn’t pick the outfits for her photo shoots, but honey, there’s just some things you should refuse to wear!

Image: Bauer Griffin

I know, Heidi, I know. I’m disgusted too!

Image: Bauer Griffin

Post from: Snarkstress

Okay, maybe it’s not rubber, but it sure as hell looks like it. Rubber or not, the dress is hot, as is Mrs. Seal herself. She’s even rocking the toe cleavage, a feat in and of itself. Ha! Get it? A “feat”? Feet! bwahahahaha! I didn’t even do that on purpose at first, I swear to you.

Anyhoo, it’s hard to top Heidi in the Sexy Girlfriend department, but I challenge all of you hot dahlings to give it a try. Who’s game? Anyone? Hmmm? Anyone???

Image used with permission from splashnewsonline.com

Post from: Snarkstress

Well, it was all about the Oscars last night (thank you Writer’s Strike Gods) and the ladies brought it in a big way. There were so many fabby looks flitting down the Red Carpet, it was all my fashionable mind could dream about last night.

Because of this, Snarkstress will be featuring some of my fave looks from last night’s fete. It’s only right, yanno?

I feel as though I must lead off with my Number Uno, be all and end all, top choice: Heidi Klum. Girlfriend rocked it out. The Oscars are all about awarding the best in dramatics, and goddamn, they really ought to have an award for Outstanding Dress on the Red Carpet. Since they don’t, I shall hand out my own award, lovingly (and fittingly) titled The Snarky. And so, without further adieu, my first annual Snarky goes to… Ms. Klum. Bravo!

Heidi was the total package. The bold red dress, the dramatic flair of the neck wrap-around, the earrings that resembled pieces of art, the understated accessories, the sleek but accessible hair, the perfect, perfect, perfect makeup, and of course, her ass-kicking signature smile. A total winner, indeed!

What say you, dahlings? Was Heidi your fave? If not, stick around for more – we are far from done here today.

Post from: Snarkstress

There’s no denying Girl looks good in red, but the cut of Heidi Klum’s dress baffles me. It’s asymmetrical, fine, I get it. But the buttons on this thing make it look like a junior highschooler’s Home Ec project gone bad. Project Runway, my ass. How ’bout Project Hack Job instead.

Heidi, dahling, stick to your sexy ways from the ‘07 Emmy’s. That’s the way we love you, presh, just remember that.

Post from: Snarkstress

No More Sesame Street Guest Spots for Heidi Klum

Newsflash, dahlings:

Word around the preschool set is that Cookie Monster has gone missing!

One look at this photo, and I think we know who took him. And why he’s probably feeling a little drafty right about now.

I guess if Sesame Street is short a fuzzy blue monster for the next few weeks we’ll all know why. Grover, if I were you, I’d be taking cover, brother. Pronto!

Post from: Snarkstress