Snarkstress » Models

Is Amber Rose Painting Houses Now?

The Snarkstress — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 20:29:24 +0000

While I usually covet almost all things Amber Rose, I do have to say…this is a strange departure. The grey jumpsuit look isn’t exactly something I would expect from dear Amber…the red lipstick? Check. Giant Shades? Check. Painting gear? Um…who are we talking about again?

Also not a normal Amber Rose outfit choice – Doc Martens. That’s right – Doc Martens. I don’t think I have seen a pair of Doc Martens since alt-rock grunge dominated music and fashion. Is there going to be a Doc Marten/Birkinstock resurgence? I so hope not. It didn’t work then and it doesn’t work now, Amber.

Can we please get back to miniskirts and stilettos now?

Image: Bauer Griffin

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36th Annual Daytime Emmys: Tyra Banks

The Snarkstress — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 23:59:10 +0000

Though I don’t love what Tyra Banks has done with her hair, I do approve of the gorgeous coral colored dress she wore to the 36th Annual Daytime Emmys. The perfect length, tailored just to hug her curves in the most flattering way,and paired with simple heels and nude clutch – it’s a surprisingly elegant choice for Tyra.

The chunky black bracelets? Those I would rather see anywhere but here. They look more like something an awkward teenager might pull out for an awards show and are quite frankly an insult to this gorgeous dress. But the bulk of it is so good that I say bravo, Tyra – well done. Maybe if you let that hair dangle a little further away from your face and tossed those bracelets to the side, this would be a 100% bona fide success. As it is, I’ll let things slide with a solid B+.

Image: Bauer Griffin

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Alice Dellal Needs New Clothes

The Snarkstress — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 16:21:56 +0000

My, doesn’t Alice Dellal look like a charmer? Sauntering around West London in a torn shirt, ripped fishnet stockings and combat boots circa 1995…yep, this is certainly what you would expect a model and socialite to look like in their free time, isn’t it.

Disappointing. All the resources in the world and this is the sorry little played out ensemble she puts together…just seems so unfortunate when you consider how many other girls out there would appreciate the same opportunities afforded dear Alice…and they wouldn’t help up looking like a goth hooker, how would they?

Yeah, sure honey…you’re an original. Reject all the nice things you could be wearing and instead step out in this. *Yawn*. Original…suuuuure, if that’s what you wan’t to call it.

Image: Bauer Griffin

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Who Wore It Best: Sophie or LeAnn

The Snarkstress — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 03:14:22 +0000

The tshirt dress is a staple for any girl’s wardrobe – but Sophie Monk and LeAnn Rimes seem to have the same misunderstanding about just how “tshirt-y” the tshirt dress should be. Indeed, Sophie’s version is shorter, sexier and almost a wee bit risque. LeAnn on the other hand looks a tad frumpy in her crisp white shirt…almost like she just rolled out of her lover’s bed, grabbed his shirt and snuck out the door. The shoe choices each of them have made only compound the differences evident in each of their outfits.

What do they have in common? Both ladies found themselves out of gas in Los Angeles over the weekend.

Who wore it best? Would you rather opt for boyfriend-ish casual or a sexy makeshift mini?

Image: Fame Pictures

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Amber Valletta V Magazine Covershoot

The Snarkstress — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 02:32:50 +0000

You know who I think I just kind of got a little girl-crush on? Amber Valletta. The supermodel and actress is pretty insanely stunning even in sometimes questionable poses or clothes (that cigarette! those sleeves!). Yes, it would appear if Amber could make me think nicotine and sleeves that might be holding a small cat or enough bread for a family of fifteen are a good idea, well – she’s good. She’s real good…The photos from her upcoming spread in V Magazine are ridiculously inspired, from the casual white t-shirt to the sequins and studs. All essential Fall denim trends that one must consider as we say goodbye to Summer.

Image: V Magazine

A little bit hick couture, a lot fabulous and irresistibly chic. I love it, darling – just love it.

More photos in the gallery below.

Blog Gallery by Navify

Images: V Magazine.
Photographed by Hedi Slimane; Styling by Clare Richardson
Amber wears Benetton, H&M, Levi’s, Hudson, Uniqlo, Dolce & Gabbana, etc.

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Milla Jovovich Has An Animal Instinct

The Snarkstress — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 20:58:39 +0000

I usually think of Milla Jovovich as a pretty fashion forward lady, but this blue animal print is testing my decision. Everything from the striped tie dye to the horribly unflattering hemline and sloppy one sleeve design…it just all adds up into the kind of dress I would expect from a twenty year old country bumpkin out for a night of debauchery in the big city for the first time.

Well Milla, let’s hope this is a temporary blip on your fashion track record. Continue to be quirky. Take style risks. But do us all a favor and don’t pull something like this out again.

Image: Bauer Griffin

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Janice Dickinson Shows Us How To Age Poorly

The Snarkstress — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 03:29:52 +0000

On the heels of a brilliantly common sense study about how tanning beds are basically designed to kill people (regardless of how perfectly bronze one’s skin becomes), here is Janice Dickinson looking like a tomato while on her way to Madeo Restaurant in West Hollywood. I’m not even sure what to cover first. How much the outfit she is wearing offends my sensibilities? Or the way her enormous fake boobs actually look saggy in the top. What about the frighteningly veiny calves?

Janice, sweetie – you’re getting older. Deal with it. This level of extreme lengths to be as vain as possible is appalling. And the most appalling bit – worse than the shirt, the fake boobs, the calves – is the bright red sunburned skin.

Someone get this woman a tube of sunscreen and a piece of chocolate cake, please.

Image: Fame Pictures

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Tyra Banks, What’s Up With Your Pants?

The Snarkstress — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 01:44:56 +0000

Oh, Tyra - who was responsible for your hair today? I’m pretty sure most girls in high school could work a flat iron better than that…so really, what’s your excuse?

But let’s forget about the hair for a second (but just a second) and really focus in on the worst part of this travel get-up. Are you seriously wearing jersey capris and trying to walk it out like a runway diva? Lord knows you’ve earned your title as a runway diva…but this isn’t the outfit to flaunt that, darling, now is it?

No, my dear – there really is nothing about this that you should be smiling about. I’m not even sure I approve of the strange quarter sleeve jacket that is trying to be eclectic but merely achieves ‘malformed’.

Hopefully there was a better ensemble waiting for you at your final destination, Tyra.

Image: Bauer Griffin

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The Single Life Agrees With Rachel Hunter

The Snarkstress — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 23:59:46 +0000

Well, it looks like Rachel Hunter isn’t spending a spare second bemoaning the cancellation of her nuptials. The former supermodel was spotted on Robertson Blvd shopping at Intermix and giving a perky thumbs up when asked how she was coping after the abrupt breakup last month.

The proof is in her appearance – Rachel looks relaxed, happy and (thank goodness) less wrinkly than when we last discussed her overbaked skin.

Hopefully this is a trend that continues. I would love to see Rachel Hunter back to her old self, possibly as the face of some makeup product or even promoting her own perfume. Otherwise it just seems like such a waste of natural beauty and celebrity stature, no?

Image: Splash News

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Jo Emma Lavin Paints On Some Skinny Denim

The Snarkstress — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 01:50:16 +0000

Could someone please explain to me exactly how Jo Emma Lavin found herself in these extremely skinny jeans for the cocktail party celebrating the launch of the “Forever Manchester” brand? Surely skinny jeans have been around long enough that they aren’t such a big surprise…but these, my dear just look uncomfortably tight. If they aren’t made of 99% spandex, I honestly have no idea how your legs are getting any circulation.

Besides the potential health risks of wearing such constricting denim, I have to wonder why Jo Emma feels this is the most flattering look for her model figure. You’re a skinny girl with enough “work” done to enhance what you were born with (don’t even try to tell me those are real, darling) – maybe next time go with the next size up.

Just because you can squeeze into them doesn’t mean those skinny jeans are your best friend.

Image: Splash News

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