In Memoriam 2007 Ten Fashion Don’ts

Dexie Wharton — Sun, 30 Dec 2007 16:05:56 +0000

As we approach 2008, would it be too much to ask if 2007 takes with it the stupid fashion trends that should’ve never been thought of in the first place when it says it’s Goodbye? Tried as they might, they just didn’t work and whomever tried to make it fetching just looked like a lost fashionista trying to fit in with the group of screw-ups out there in Hollywood. I’m the first to agree that Fashion and Style is a fashionista’s personal interpretation but c’mon, some of the trends that came out and are still out from the previous years seriously need to bid us Adieu and just leave us alone. It’s time to go. Please join me in this oh-so-painful journey. Parting is such sweet sorrow……..

1. LEGGINGS(footless, mid-calf) — Unless you’re rehearsing a dance number in a dance studio, for the love of God, please just go bare.

2. UGGS — Unless you’re in a ski mountain trying to warm your footsies after skiing, or you’re a surfer in Australia, or in a Winter Wonderland part of the world, please burn the damn things. If your’re going to wear it with a beater shirt, mini-skirt and a skinny scarf, please do us all a favor and just stay home.

3. Overalls(shortalls) — You’re not a baby. You’re not painting. You’re not working in your garden either. You’re a sophisticated woman out and about running errands. Try to look like one.

4. High-Waisted Jeans/Pants — Grandma doesn’t even wear it anymore, you shouldn’t either. Calling Jessica Simpson and Mischa Barton.

5. Sienna Miller — Honey, Kate Moss called. She’s pissed off, royally. She wants her identity back.

6. Beyonce Knowles wearing everything but the kitchen sink. Enough Said!

7. Cowboy Boots — Unless you’re a freaking cowboy on a freaking Rodeo, give it up. Save yourself.

8. Britney Spears Fugly Wigs. I bet underneath all the different ugly wigs she’s wearing is a very beautiful bob hairstyle just waiting to be owned and be proud of. Seriously.

9. Hollywood IT Girls driving drunk, doing drugs, and going to rehab. It’s time to grow up and realize that not everyone in your friend’s list wants the best for you. And that if you screw-up one more time it will be the end of your career. And then what? It’s not like you have a high-school diploma to show for anyway. So be grateful for what you have and work what your Mama gave you.

10. Smoking — Errrr? Believe it or not, some women think having a cigarette in her mouth is chic and fashionable. It’s time to quit. For your health and for people around you. Wouldn’t you want to wake up one morning being able to REALLY smell the roses? Or not smelling like an ashtray? Think about all the money you’re going to save. That’s money for gas AND shopping. See how that works?

Now Bonvoyage. It was good -not really- while it lasted. Baboosh!

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In Memoriam 2007 Ten Fashion Don’ts